***

They were seated around a table, Joe and Frank one side and Helen and Alex on the other.

Despite his attempts to do otherwise, Frank kept catching himself glancing at his doppelganger and was afraid this could be perceived as rudeness. In the process, he was relieved to keep catching Alex doing the same to him.

"So, how long are you visited our green and pleasant land?" asked Alex, breaking the silence.

"Two weeks, we’re staying in Birmingham overnight and then moving on to Stratford upon Avon tomorrow," replied Joe.

"Ah, Shakespeare Country! But why are you both only staying one night?" he asked, curiously.

"Well, we’re planning on touring the country, taking in as many historical sites as possible," replied Joe.

"Which historical sites are you visiting?" he asked, leaning forward with sudden interest.

Joe opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by Helen suddenly sitting up straight and bursting out in frustration, "okay, that’s enough small talk. Now, Frank, its time to spill the beans – what do your parents look like? Do they look like Alex’s parents? What are your hobbies? Are you married?"

Shocked into silence, Frank and Joe looked back wide eyed, taken aback by her forthrightness.

"You’ll have to excuse my wife, she’s not known for her…subtleties," interrupted Alex, taking her hand in his affectionately and kissing it.

"I just believe in being up front, at least then there’s no nasty surprises!" she countered, poking him playfully in the ribs.

Frank and Joe felt themselves warming to the couple, enjoying the quick banter they shared.

"I’ve got a photograph of our parents, if you’d like to see it," said Frank, pulling his wallet from his pocket.

"So have I," said Alex, lifting up to retrieve his wallet from his back pocket.

They compared photos, but were disappointed to see that neither parent bore the slightest resemblance.

"To be fair, Alex looks nothing like his mother and father, they’re both short in height. Alex is the giant of the family."

"It’s true," nodded Alex in agreement. "All the mirrors and light fittings are fixed at a low height in their house. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve cracked my head on the ceiling light in the living room," said Alex, rubbing his scalp at the memory. Frank and Joe laughed.

"It’s great when his mother wants something lifting from a high self though!" she added.

Frank and Joe both nodded vehemently at this. "Yes, our Aunt Gertrude who lives with us finds our height useful when it comes to shopping – unfortunately for us!" said Joe. It was Alex and Helen’s turn to laugh.

Helen looked at the Hardys’ photo again. "You look like your father, Frank," she observed.

"Yeah, I do. Joe looks more like mom."

"Yes," she agreed smiling. "She’s a lovely looking woman, you’re father’s a lucky man." Joe reddened at this unintentional, backhanded compliment.

The subject of Alex and Frank continued for the next half an hour. They discovered that they both enjoyed using computers, and doing martial arts. Both were fit and believed in living a healthy lifestyle.

Finally, Frank looked at his watch and reluctantly said to Joe, "I think we oughta get a cab to the hotel, times getting on."

Helen kicked her husband furtively under the table to get his attention and raised her eyebrows questionably. He nodded almost imperceptibly and she turned back to the Hardys. "Don’t waste your money on a hotel, we’d be honored if you’d spend the night in our home. We only live about a twenty minute drive away and we have all the facilities a hotel can offer."

"We can’t possibly impose oursel…"

"No, don’t be silly," she said firmly. "We insist."

The Hardys smiled and said in unison, "Okay, thanks."

Alex raised himself from the table. "Helen, you three wait outside, I’ll get the car and meet you out front. It’ll save dragging the trolley all the way to the car park."

"Good thinking, Batman!" she replied, slapping his backside.

"I’ll come with you," offered Frank, quickly sliding out of the seat. They walked off together, talking animatedly.

Joe threw Helen a large grin.

"How lovely, I think they’ve made friends," she smiled back, her eyes sparkling.

***

Joe raised his eyebrows in surprise when he saw the car pulling up. Alex drove a large, blue, BMW saloon. "Nice car!" he commented, running his eyes over the vehicle’s sleek bodywork.

"Thank you," replied Helen. "He’s our baby. Barney is probably a little large for us, but we needed a car with plenty of room, for the hobby we do."

"Barney the BMW?" he queried, laughing.

"Yes, don’t Americans name their cars?"

"No, not really, although, come to think of it, our friend Chet has a cutesy name for his beat up old car."

"There you go then," she said smiling sweetly.

"What hobby is it you do that requires such a large car?" he asked, helping Frank and Alex push the luggage into the trunk.

"Erm…this and that, we’re into a number of things," she said vaguely, shrugging her shoulders.

"Are you sure you can spare the room?" asked Frank.

"Yes, there’s plenty," Alex insisted. "Don’t worry about it."

They all climbed into the car and slammed the doors shut. Alex turned the key and the responsive engine purred to life. He pulled away from the curb and they were on their way.

"You’re absolutely sure you can spare the room?" asked Frank again, still feeling a little awkward.

Helen answered this time, "Gawd, you two are real panickers! We have four bedrooms and one of the spare rooms has two beds and its own en-suite bathroom. Don’t fret, we’re used to adopting waifs and strays!" She watched the brothers visibly relax. Feeling satisfied, she turned back and looked out of the window.

Twenty minutes later the car turned into the driveway of a large, attractive house. "Home sweet home," announced Alex, turning off the engine and pulling on the emergency brake.

The house was flanked by trees, which offered complete privacy for the Morris’s from their immediate neighbors. The scent of the climbing roses that covered the front half of the house perfumed the air. Joe and Frank exchanged looks, realizing they’d landed squarely on their feet.

Alex opened the front door and ushered them all inside into the cool interior, out of the sun. The Hardys stood in the entrance, looking into the hallway. A spindle staircase twisted away from them, leading to the upper floors. There were five doorways leading off, one they could see was a large kitchen, another the lounge. The rest of the doors were closed, denying their eyes access to the interiors.

"Through there is the dining room," answered Helen to their unspoken question, "that is the cloakroom and that’s our little study. Get your bags and we’ll get you settled in."

Alex, Joe and Frank went back to the car and collected the luggage. Between them they carried it into the house and headed up the stairs. On the first floor, Alex took the first door on the left and entered with Frank and Joe at his heels. They saw Helen opening the window wide to air the room. There were two queen-sized beds against each wall, two closets and two sets of drawers. They saw a door against the far wall, which Helen explained was the en-suite bathroom. She entered and came out with an armful of towels. "We’ll leave you to settle in and freshen up – would you like a coffee or something?"

"No thanks, I’m going to take a nap," said Joe.

"Yes please, just give me ten minutes to freshen up and change my clothes," said Frank, "and I’ll be right with you." Helen and Alex nodded and left the room.

"Not bad," remarked Joe, sitting down on the end of one of the beds and lying back with his legs hanging.

"Yeah, nice house," agreed his brother, swinging his case onto the other bed. Frank unclipped the catches, pulled opened the lid and unpacked a fresh change of clothes. "It was real nice of them to offer us accommodation like that," he began and looked over at Joe, "I think we should as least…" his voice trailed off as he realized his brother was sleeping. He put his hands on his hips and sighed. Crouching down, he gently unlaced Joe’s boots and slipped them off, placing them side by side next to his dangling feet.

He discarded his clothes, wrapped a towel around his middle and quietly entered the bathroom to grab a quick shower. He was dried and dressed within the allotted ten minutes and left the room, shutting the door silently behind him so as not to awaken his younger brother.

He entered the kitchen and caught Alex and Helen in a tight clinch, kissing. "Jeez, sorry guys," he said, turning away embarrassed.

"Sorry Frank, don’t go," said Helen quickly, giggling at his blushing face, "we didn’t expect you to be quite that quick."

Alex coughed self-consciously and started to fill the kettle with water. "Coffee, Frank?" he asked by way of a change in conversation.

Frank walked up and stood next to him. "Yeah, thanks. He looked out of the window. "Nice garden," he commented.

"Come and take a closer look," said Helen, opening the back door and taking his hand.

Allowing himself to be led, he stepping out into the sunshine, Frank looked across the lawn at the mature flowerbeds and trees. He could hear the sound of birds singing and the running water from a small fountain in the corner. "It’s sure peaceful," he whispered, afraid that he would break the spell if he spoke out loud.

"Contrary to popular myth, it doesn’t always rain in Birmingham," she said, walking backwards in order to look at him. She turned away and gently pulling him further onto the grass.

Frank suddenly caught a movement in his peripheral vision, coming from the side of the house, which made him jerk and suck air into his lungs defensibly. A figure began to move quickly in his and Helen’s direction, Frank rotated to get a better perspective. The sight that met him beggared belief - it was a man, with a broad sword raised above his head. The man screamed like a banshee and ran headlong straight at him.