"I can't believe you did that! What on earth was you thinking!" Jason commented as he met his brother at the van. Adam just had a nonchalant look on his face. It was not a secret that Adam did get into mischief at school. Realizing that Adam was not going to give him an answer, Jason just sighed as he opened the driver door. Adam just got in and laid his books down on the floorboard. "I just don't get it Adam! Why do you get yourself into these situations? Dad was never one to be in the principal's office. Mom was never in trouble in school and I have not hardly ever been to the office. Why you?"

"Look, I admit that I should have handled my anger in a different way. But I am sick and tired of putting up with Eric Peterson's mouth. Besides, I didn't mean for things to go this far," Adam finally replied. He thought he might as well clear the air. "He is just not going to walk all over me and if that means serving lunch detention for the next two days, then that is a price that I am willing to pay. I am not sorry for what I did to Eric. I just wish I could have done more! I am sorry about the fact that Miss Meade had to suffer."

"What about Chuck? You always get him into trouble. It is a wonder that the Coopers let him around you at times!"

"I told Mrs. Blake that it was all my fault. I planned it. She let Chuck off with a warning so I took care of Chuck. Besides, he enjoyed it as much as I did. They make fun of poor Chuck all the time because of his weight," Adam answered. "I was just serving out some justice."

"Well, mom and dad is going to serve some justice too!" Jason quipped.

"Mrs. Blake is not going to call them on this matter. She wanted to call them, but she said that just serving the detention would be enough. Besides, I told her that I plan to tell them when they get back any ways. It is not like I hurt someone or got into a fight like when I got suspended," Adam said in a carefree tone.

"You could have caused poor Miss Meade to have a heart attack!" Jason said seriously.

"But I didn't. I personally think that Mrs. Blake enjoyed Miss Meade's reaction. I bet that old goat gets on her nerves too!"

Jason was about to comment, but then he thought about what Miss Meade must have looked like when she had that tarantula crawl over her face. Jason started to laugh at his own visual of the situation. His brother may have got into trouble, but Adam never ceased to amaze him on his take on things.

"So are we still heading up by Cedar Falls?" Jason asked.

"Yeah, sounds good to me. But do you care if I call and check on Alyssa using the cell phone?" Adam replied.

"But I don't have the phone number. I wasn't planning on stopping by the house," Jason commented, handing Adam the phone. But Adam dug out a yellow piece of paper and started to dial. "You mean you actually wrote a phone number down?" Jason said in amazement.

Adam just smiled. "Caller ID." Jason just rolled his eyes. Whenever anyone called for him, Adam had a habit of not writing the messages down. The older Kramer just shook his head. It was then that he passed the road that let to Alyssa's house at the old church camp. That road always gave him the chills whenever he went near it. It seemed like it was just yesterday that they took Alyssa home after her first day of school at Emerald Beach High. By the following weekend, both of their lives were changed forever. But things were going to be different now. Alyssa had her surgery and soon she was going to walk or at least be able to walk enough to use a walker. Adam was going to have surgery too and he was going to be back to normal. Jason knew that there would be weeks, possibly months of rehab after the surgery. But that was fine. He was willing to stick by his brother through those times because someday, Adam was going to be back to his normal self. No more fears of seizures, no more having to rehearse things over and over for school, and no more hand/eye coordination problems. Jason was so lost in his thoughts that he did not even notice that Adam had already made the phone call and hung up.

"Alyssa was sleeping after a physical therapy session. I talked to Clara though," Adam spoke up, waking Jason out of his daze. "She is doing fine, but therapy is really painful for her arms and exhausting too. She wants to walk off that plane so bad. Clara said that they have hopes of Alyssa being able to use a walker soon. They said that the muscles are responding to the electrical stuff they did. She said she would have Alyssa explain it later."

"You mean you have already called?"

"Yeah," Adam chuckled. "Didn't you hear me or are you going deaf?"

"I was just thinking about things. I am glad to hear that things are going well though," Jason commented. He then looked over at Adam, who was looking out the window. "So what do you think about all of this? I mean, both of you are going to be going through recovery again."

Adam just shrugged his shoulders. He was not ready to admit it, but the thought of going through rehab again scared him to death. At least in Alyssa's case, the surgery could not make things worse. But in Adam's case, it could make matters worse. His face must have shown his true feelings. Noticing his brother's reaction, Jason pulled the van over to the side of the one lane country road and turned the engine off. Thank goodness they were just about to the Cedar Falls parking area.

"What is going on? I don't think that you are being totally honest with me. You don't want to tell Alyssa about the surgery and every time I bring it up, you get this look of dread on your face. Then you are running off doing God knows what," Jason said as he turned and faced Adam.

"I don't think you want to hear what I am thinking."

Jason sighed and laid his head back against the driver window. "Tell me."

"I really don't want to have the surgery," Adam blurted out.

"What? Why not? I don't understand?" Jason said in a dumbfounded state. He was not expecting that from Adam. Everyone was excited about the surgery.

"I don't like the idea of taking that big of a risk. Jason, it is brain surgery. They don't know how things are going to turn out. And I am not too crazy about going through rehab all over again," Adam said softly. "I just don't want to start over again, Jason. I don't have that much fight in me to start all over again."

"But you have nothing to be scared of. Mom, Dad and I are all going to help you," Jason replied in a matter of fact tone. That was not the tone that Adam needed to hear. Then came the statement that broke the camel's back so to say. "You are going to just like you was before the accident."

Adam hit the dash with his fist out of frustration. He could not contain his emotions anymore. There were so many emotions that were flowing through him--- hurt, fear, anger, and frustration. Tears started to flow down his cheeks and he could feel every muscle tense up in his body. Jason stared at his brother in disbelief. He really did not understand what was going on. Sometimes it was hard for Adam to find the words to describe how he was feeling, but that would not explain why he was so upset. His younger brother then rested his head on the dash, taking in deep breaths. Jason reached over and put his arm on his brother's shoulder.

"What did I say? I don't understand why you are so upset? You wanted this chance," Jason said in a frustrated tone.

"No, you and mom and dad want this surgery. No one has ever asked me what I wanted you," Adam mumbled angrily. With that, he got out of the van and slammed the door shut. The van rocked from the force for a few seconds. Then Adam went around to the front of the van and laid his head down on the hood. He needed to get himself together. It was not possible for his family to understand what he was feeling because they were not standing in his shoes. They just wanted what they thought was best for him. But he felt left out that they did not ask for his input on issues that affected HIS life. He felt a hand touch him on his back.

"I know that you are scared little brother, but you are going to be just fine. This surgery is going to help you do the things you used to do like play football, work on your car, and do better in school," Jason answered softly. "I always thought you wanted things to go back to the way they were before the accident."

For some reason, that statement hit Adam in the wrong way. "And what is wrong with me now?"

Jason almost jumped back as Adam looked up at him. His eyes were red. "I thought that the only thing that you wanted was for me to live and be able to live life. Well, you got your wish. After all of the hard work and rehab, I am finally able to be human again. Then I have a seizure and some doctor says he can fix me and you all jump at the chance. What about what I want! I don't want to start things over again! I have accepted how things are now! I admit that I sometimes wish that things would go back, but the only way to do that is to turn back time. A doctor can't turn back time. Things were really going well. We solved a couple of cases, then handled Bill and Christine. I don't understand why I have to have this surgery and why I was not asked about how I felt about it. I really thought... no... I am not going to say it," Adam said, putting his head back down.

"What! Don't hold back now!" Jason said with a stern tone. Adam could not tell if he was angry or just in shock.

"I really thought that you finally accepted me," Adam almost whimpered. "Jason, I know that you care about me and so does mom and dad. But I heard what you and Stephanie said back at Christmas time when we were out in the woods. You used to doubt my abilities."

"Adam, I didn't mean that. I told you later that I was wrong! I don't doubt your abilities!" Jason fired back.

"I know you did and up until now, I believed you. I think that you even believe that. But your actions speak louder than your words."

"What?"

"You really don't get it, do you?"

"No I don't Adam. I don't understand why you don't want this surgery. It will be the beginning of a new life for you," Jason remarked. Adam then turned to face him. By now, he was shaking and his eyes were filled with tears.

'Then let me explain it big brother. When I went over the side of that mountain, the old Adam Kramer died. He died Jason, right there. I had to start my life over again living with my disabilities and my shortcomings. I am finally somewhat comfortable with my new self and I thought that everyone else was too, especially you. You have helped me all along and I really thought that you had accepted the new Adam Kramer. But now they have thrown this miracle surgery into the mix and all I hear is how I am going to be back to my old self. A new beginning you say. That is not what this surgery means to me."

"Then you are not going to have the surgery?" Jason asked. Adam was just throwing a lot of thing at him at once. He had no idea this is how his brother felt and it made him feel horrible.

"Yes I am going to have the stupid surgery. Don't worry about that!" Adam quipped.

"Why?"

Adam just hung his head in frustration. Then he looked up at his brother. "I am doing it for you. So you can have your old brother back. So mom and dad can have their old son back. The Adam that does not need special classes. The Adam that does not have seizures. Maybe then you all would be happier with me since you obviously don't completely like the new me."

That statement hit Jason right in the heart. It was then that Adam made sense to him. Adam felt like if Jason wanted him to have this surgery, then it was because he did not accept him as he was now. But that was not true. Jason just wanted what was best and if modern medicine could help improve life for his brother as he was now, then that was great. It didn't mean that he loved him any less! But that was not how Adam was taking things. Before Jason could even answer Adam, his younger brother turned and walked towards the parking area for Cedar Falls. All he could do was stand there and watch his younger brother walk away from him. Once again, he felt the wall that Adam often built around him come up again. He turned and leaned against the van in his own frustration.

At the same moment, Adam was glad that he finally told his brother how he felt. But it did not make him feel any better. Instead, it made him feel like a misfit toy from the TV show, "Rudolf". The brothers watched it every Christmas. He felt like Rudolf. He was fine, but he still was different. He kept walking, needing to feel free. He had to get rid of the chains that seemed to drag him down. The chains that his family had shackled him with, not the accident.

The Hardy Boys belong to Simon and Schuster and the Stratemeyer Foundation. The Hardy Boys Fan Fiction authors of the Hardy Detective Agency have just borrowed them for an adventure or two. The authors promise to put the boys back when they are done with them. The authors do claim copyright to the original characters in this story. Please do not borrow original characters without express permission of the authors.