I’m on a beach in Hawaii. Vanessa is lying here beside me. It’s warm, not too warm, just nice and balmy. There is a waiter bringing me over a jug of iced water. He’s pouring me a glass and handing it to me.

I can feel it going into my mouth, filling up all the little cracks in my lips, sliding down my dry, sore throat and filling up my body, gushing into every vein, every muscle, and every organ.

Its like looking at a sudden monsoon in a dry desert, you can see the water flowing into every tiny crevice, bringing everything to life.

Water to make my legs move, water to make my arms strong, water to fill up my eyes and my throat so that I can cry out for help, water to help me run away from here, to run and run until this room and these ropes are a distant memory………

Where are you Frank? I can’t speak, I can’t focus, and I keep seeing blobs of dark color in front of my eyes.

And I keep retching. I can’t help it, even though there is nothing in my stomach, I just keep heaving.

Hey! There’s someone coming into the room again.

Frank, is that you? What took you so long? Sorry I can’t talk to you but my mouth is kind of dry and I’m a bit tired.

I knew you’d come brother, I just knew it, I told the spider, didn’t I Mr. Spider? Didn’t I tell you that my big brother would come and rescue me?

Hey, Frank, why aren’t you untying me? Come on; don’t be like that, I didn’t mean to end up here.

Hang on, you look different, Frank doesn’t have such long hair and he isn’t as skinny as that.

Uh oh, it’s not Frank, it’s what’s-his-face.

The bad guy.

How come there’s always a bad guy? Every single time. You could write a whole series of books on it……

Hello, I can see two of you. Think my vision must be going. It’s very dark in here; do you know that?

Hey, he’s crying!.

Don’t cry Mr. Bad Guy. I’m the one who is dying, not you. I really wish you would let me out of here though.

Stop it, will you. Look at all that moisture you are wasting by crying.

Hey Mr. Bad Guy, did you know that I’m going mad? I am…really. I can’t remember your name, and I can’t feel any part of my body anymore.

I keep thinking that there are people in the room with me all the time, sitting in the corner, looking at me, I think that there are spiders crawling all over me sometimes.

I feel like I’m sinking in quick sand, being dragged further and further into it so that I can’t get to the top for air, and the sand is filling up my insides, sucking out all the moisture.

Why do you keep looking at me, and crying? Why?

What good are your tears to me? Why do you just sit there and cry?

Fenton Radley, that’s your name. How could I forget? I wish I could talk to you, tell you what I’m thinking, but I can’t talk, my mouth is so dry, I can just look at you, as you sit there, crying.

We both messed up didn’t we, you and I. you messed up by kidnapping me and bringing me here, and I messed up by not realizing what was happening, by letting myself end up here, but not understanding what you were going through all those years ago.

You’re not the only one to feel anger or resentment, you know, I’ve felt it too at times, for Frank, when he comes top of his class in everything again, for Phil when he wins awards in MIT for bring an outstanding student.

For Dad, when he talks about the good old days when detectives were detectives and didn’t rely on Computers an scientists to solve cases for them

You see, I understand better now, I do, really

But you don’t seem to understand that. I’m dying here, and you don’t want to do anything to help me.

What is he doing? Why is he coming over, is he going to kill me? Is he?

No, he’s untying me, untying the ropes! Oh god, please, please let him take me out of here, please!

The ropes are gone, the chains are gone………and now he’s gone.

Nooooooo. Please don’t leave me, please, please….

He’s gone. I’m alone again. Why? Why did he do that?

Oh but I can move my arms, and my legs I can lie down on the ground, I can stretch out my legs………

AAGGHH. Pins and needles, horrible stabbing pins and needles everywhere.

Oh god it hurts!

At least the pain means that I can feel them again, my legs and my arms.

Oh but they are so sore, I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus and am only starting to feel the pain now.

At least now I can lie down properly and rest my head.

I’m so tired, so so tired. Maybe I’ll just go to sleep for a while.

Maybe then I’ll wake up at home in bed, with Frank asleep in the next room, and the sound of the cars going by and sun streaming in my bedroom window.

No, I can’t sleep, I can’t, I’m afraid that I won’t wake up

I can’t sleep, I can move, I can stand. I have to get up, to try and escape. I have to get out.

Except I’m not able. I’m just so tired. I’m just going to lie here against this wall, and rest my head.

Just rest my head against the wall and shut my eyes for a while.

Just a little rest

I’m so tired………