Oh, I must have fallen asleep.

I wish I hadn’t woken up.

I was dreaming, dreaming of Frank and Ness and Callie, we were on the beach, in front of Frank’s and my apartment.

It was sunset, and we were just sitting there, Ness and I, Frank and Callie, not talking, content to look at the flaming red sun as it made its way below the horizon, and the red and purple glow that it left on the wispy clouds that were dotted here and there in an otherwise clear night sky. I had my arms wrapped around Ness, her hands were in mine.

I was happy, comfortable, safe……

But I’m not there am I? I’m here. Here in this damp and miserable stupid concrete cell that I hate so much.

AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH….

I’m tired, I’m thirsty, I feel sick to the pit pf my stomach and I can’t stop shivering, my whole body is shivering. I’m cold, I’m alone, and I’m scared.

Listen to yourself Joe Hardy, you sound like your own worst nightmare. It’s only been about 2 days, who’s to say that Frank and Dad wont come bursting in that door any minute now, and this whole nightmare will be over.

Maybe….hopefully…

If Callie were here now, she would tell me to pull myself together, that I am no good to anyone wallowing in self misery, I can just imagine here

"Joe Hardy, you’re such a drama-queen sometimes, why don’t you stop moaning and think, think of a way to get out"

It’s a well known fact that Callie Shaw and I didn’t always see eye to eye. In fact I think there was even a time when we actively disliked each other.

Callie is an only child, and her parents are quite wealthy. Very wealthy in fact. Callie had the best of clothes, and only went to the best of schools. When they moved to Bayport however, it would seem that Callie kicked up a fuss and insisted on going to the local high school, despite her parent’s reservations about their only daughter mixing with ‘ordinary’ kids.

Callie is very stubborn and nearly always wins arguments…just ask Frank!. Well she won that argument and ended up in Bayport High, where she and Iola became friends.

I can still remember the day of Chet’s thirteenth birthday; we were all over at the Morton’s farm. There was a huge barbecue and afterwards Chet’s dad organized a baseball game. Everyone was playing, and half way through the first inning Callie arrived.

Frank had stood up to bat, took one look at Callie Shaw and missed the ball by about a mile. I remember standing at first base and yelling at him in frustration. I mean come on, missing the ball over a girl! I was definitely anti-girl at this stage, not having yet succumbed to the charms of Iola Morton.

What’s more this girl couldn’t play baseball, hadn’t ever played in fact. We argued at least ten times that day, I can’t even remember over what. She was so clean and neat, so used to always getting her own way. It irritated me. Plus Frank was sticking up for HER, not me. I guess I wasn’t used to the idea of sharing my brother, and especially not with a girl.

For a while, things were awkward, Frank really liked this girl, I could see that, and I wanted him to be happy. But if we spent more than five minutes in each others company we would usually find something to argue about, from what to watch on TV to what pizza toppings we preferred.

But gradually, it got better. We both grew up, I started going out with Iola and realized what is like to fall for someone. And then I began to see a different side to Callie Shaw.

Callie doesn’t have a large circle of friends, she isn’t shy about voicing her opinions and a little less than diplomatic at times, but those friends that she has made, she is fiercely protective and loyal to them.

Once, back in junior high, Iola started getting bullied in school by one of the seniors, after she refused to go on a date with him. He started saying nasty things when no-one was listening, and spreading horrid rumors all around the school. Iola was really upset and confided in Callie.

The next day Callie walked up to the guy during lunch. He was one of the biggest seniors around, but that didn’t bother Callie. In the cafeteria and in front of half the school, called him a coward and a bully, and to leave Iola alone.

Apparently everyone sat in silence, waiting for him answer back, but he didn’t, he didn’t say a word, just walked off in the other direction. He never said a word to Iola again; in fact he couldn’t even bring himself to look her in the eye.

That’s how strong Callie can be. Whenever Frank or I are hurt, she never cries, just sits beside whoever is in the waiting room, be it Frank or me. She doesn’t talk, but her presence and her will are so strong that you can feel them. She always believes that whoever is hurt is going to be fine, that belief seems to radiate from her and into whoever is beside her, so that you are somehow, comforted.

Its only now, looking back at those first couple of years, and the constant bickering between us that I can admit what was really wrong. I was jealous of Callie, jealous that Frank could devote so much of his time to this girl. Before she came along it had always been me and Frank, we spent most of our day together, playing baseball or football, watching TV, talking……

I know it seems silly but I think part of me was afraid that Frank would like Callie more than me. I was only fourteen, naïve and lonely. I guess it never helped either that our personalities are so similar. Callie is hot-headed, so am I, she’s stubborn, so am I. Neither of us is very patient and we both rush headlong into trouble without thinking when the people we love are in danger.

Years later, when I finally admitted this to Callie, she told me that she had also been jealous of me, and of the obvious bond Frank and I had, and the way we always looked out for each other, how we rarely fought, and seemed to enjoy each others company so much. I remember her words…

In reality, it doesn’t really matter what Callie and I think of each other. She loves my brother, really and truly loves him.

Just a couple of weeks ago the three of us were sitting looked at a movie, and Frank fell asleep beside Callie on the couch, his head resting on her shoulder, and snoring softly into her ear.

She sat looking at him for a few minutes, and the expression on her face was almost incredulous, like she couldn’t believe that she could ever love someone that much, that she could allow someone to share so much of her life and her heart.

I’m glad she did, I couldn’t imagine Frank sharing his life with anyone else.