Autumn has always been my favorite time of the year in Bayport. I think it’s partly because of the trees, I’ve never seen so many trees in one town. There is a huge Elm tree outside of Prito’s, the highest one in the area. We used to climb it when we were kids, and try to scare people coming out of the restaurant at night.

That until Tony’s dad caught us in the act one night. The Italians have a way of letting you know in no uncertain terms when they are annoyed. When Dad found out Joe and I were grounded for weeks, although Joe said it was his idea and that he would take the punishment for both of us. That was always Joe’s way. Even though I’m the older brother he always tried to cover for me when we got into trouble.

I’m standing beside that Elm tree now, there are leaves falling down around me and the warm sun is shining through the branches and straight onto the front door of the restaurant.

It’s funny though, I suddenly feel cold.

It looks like everyone is inside. I can see Callie; I guess she’s laughing at one of Chet’s stories. She looks really pretty today, that blue shirt really brings out the blue in her eyes.

It seems weird to be back here, I haven’t been in Prito’s since thanksgiving and now it’s September. I guess I should go in, but the biggest part of me just wants to turn around and run far away from here and from my friends.

I haven’t heard from Chet, Biff or Tony in ages. Even Phil has stopped calling and Callie and I hardly see each other anymore. I know it’s my own fault. In the beginning they tried so hard, they called around, rang me, left messages and tried to get me out of the house at every opportunity. But I kept pushing them away.

In the beginning, after it happened I was paranoid, I thought that everyone blamed me, that they were all talking about me behind my back. Of course that not true. As far as I know they don’t hate me, they don’t even dislike me. Not all of them anyhow.

The truth is that they can’t handle my pain on top of their own. It may seem cruel but I have to face the fact

People simply stop caring.

There comes a point when people run out of sympathy, when they don’t want to be around you because they can feel your pain, they can see all the hurt in your eyes and they know all too well how much anguish you have been through and how sad you look. But it’s YOUR pain, not theirs and after a while they want to move on, even if you can’t.

So they do. They go for lunch without you and soon the conversation and laughter of old has returned to the group and people are glad you are not there, although they are ashamed to think it and never admit it openly to each other. Now the flirting, the superficial talk and banter of old can start again, without guilt or shame.

For a while I thought that they had given up on me, and then Vanessa rang me.

She told me I was being selfish, that I would achieve nothing by pushing everyone away, that she never blamed me for anything so why would the others. And then she told me about Chet’s party and that everyone would be there.

"Come home Frank, please. We miss you, both of you." Those were her last words. So here I am, but I’m scared, even more scared the night Tony’s dad brought us home after the tree incident.

Its times like these that I need Joe here. Joe is much better at hiding his pain than I am, he can twinkle those blue eyes of his, crack a few jokes and everyone suddenly feels at ease, no matter what has gone on beforehand.

I know now that I was wrong to shut them out; they are my friends, mine and Joes. After all it’s not as if Joe is dead, and maybe, just maybe they can help me get back my brother, because at the moment I miss him so much.

I can hear his voice in my head again as I stand at the door of the pizzeria.