Of course he tried to explain to his friend that what had happened was an accident. Nasty… unfortunate but still an accident. A 4-year-old child doesn’t just shoot their mother on purpose.

But Joe was insistent. He tried to make Biff understand that it wasn’t one of those all-too familiar stories of a child finding a loaded gun and it accidentally going off as inquisitive fingers investigated. No, William knew what he was doing and had planned it.

And now Biff was worried that Joe’s blaming of William over this tragic accident must be in some way connected to his silence over his brother’s existence.

It’s his way of punishing his brother for something that he had no control over, Biff thought sadly.

Even now 10 years later.

* * *

In the Hardy household, things were moving way to fast for Joe’s liking. All Fenton and Laura talked about was the impending adoption and how wonderful it would be for Joe to have his twin brother back in his life again.

Frank wasn’t so sure although his hesitation was nothing compared to Joe’s growing alarm. The younger boy was having trouble sleeping as his nights were tormented with memories and nightmares. His appetite was suffering as with each passing day his anxiety was growing.

It got to the point that a worried Laura made an appointment with Dr. Bates, the family physician. He had been treating the family since they moved to Bayport 9 years ago.

Of course although he could see the dark circles under the child’s eyes, chart the weight he had lost, and knew that something was wrong. There was nothing physically that he could put his finger on. So sighing, he sat back in his desk chair and ran a hand through his thinning hair as he asked the concerned mother if there was anything happening that might be causing the youngster undue emotional distress.

‘It’s nothing that I can treat with antibiotics", he admitted as the subject of thier conversation was waiting outside in the waiting room, ‘something is bothering him and whatever it is, it upset him to the point of what we are seeing here. Is there anything going on that you’re aware of?" The doctor did not really expect Laura to have an answer suspecting that it might be something more like bullying at school or some sort of other teen issue.

Joe was 15 and at a ripe age to be the victim of negative peer pressure. But to his shock Laura looked down for a moment before letting out the breath she had been holding, "Well. We recently found out that Joe has a twin brother and we’re making arrangements to adopt him. When we adopted Joe, we never knew about his brother."

"Joe never mentioned his brother to you before now?" the kindly doctor asked raising his eyebrows questioningly.

"That’s the funny thing, Dr. Bates", Laura admitted, "he never did tell us about William. Fenton found out quite by chance."

The doctor frowned considering this new piece of information, "That is certainly a plausible explanation…particularly if Joe is feeling guilty or nervous about the impending adoption. It’s not uncommon for a child to become overly concerned with losing his place in the family. The only thing I can suggest is that you reassure him and keep an eye on him. If he doesn’t start sleeping or eating better, then bring him back and I’ll prescribe him a sleeping pill or antidepressant. I’m just very reluctant to do so now because he is so young. I’d rather if this could be treated the good old fashioned way…with lots of love."

Laura nodded her head numbly feeling a bit guilty that neither she nor Fenton had even considered that Joe’s malady might have something to do with this adoption. Of course, Joe had become more sullen and withdrawn over the last couple of days but they had just assumed it was coincidence.

Inwardly, she had hoped it was something that Dr. Bates could treat with a prescription. His verbal cure might be harder to swallow.

* * *

Joe was quiet on the ride home, not even bothering to ask what the doctor said because he already knew the answer. What was wrong with him was nothing he could treat.

The teen glanced over at his mother questioningly when he noticed that she wasn’t driving towards home. Instead she took the Bay Road and drove up to the top of a cliff that overlooked Barmet Bay. Although he had never been there in this capacity, Joe knew it was considered "Lover’s Lane" by the older kids.

Parking the car, his mother sat in silence for a while looking down at the bay. It was a brisk Autumn day and the breeze cast whitecaps across the water. Joe found it soothing to watch as the swell washed into the sides of the cliff and throw itself up against its base. He loved the bay.

Finally his mother turned to him and asked gently "Joe…honey. What’s wrong?"

"What do you mean?" the teen asked now realizing his mother had brought them to this secluded spot to talk.

"Sweetie, you’re not sleeping…you hardly eat. I’m sorry it took Dr. Bates to point out the obvious but your father and I should have seen it ourselves. Something is bothering you and I think I know what it is."

Joe perked up and gazed intently at her. Was it possible? Did she really know? If so, maybe there was still hope yet.

"You’re afraid that when William moves in you’re going to be pushed aside…forgotten," she continued misreading the disbelief she saw on her son’s face as shock that she had figured it out, "but that’s not true. We’ll always love you like we do now. You’re still going to be a very important part of our family. The only thing that is going to change is that our family will be growing. You know the old saying…the more the merrier. Well it’s true. You wait and see. This is going to be wonderful!"

Joe sank down in the seat, his heart sinking even lower. She didn’t understand.

Laura continued warming up, "I don’t think we ever told you this but when we were considering adopting you, Frank had a similar reaction." She smiled and then amended, "Well not exactly the same reaction. He didn’t have too much trouble sleeping and if anything his appetite improved…now that I come to think about it. But he was very worried about what would happen when a new brother moved in. So your father and I sat him down and explained how wonderful it was actually going to be."

The bond teen didn’t look too convinced and she pressed on, "But once he realized that your being here would not affect how we felt about him…that it would actually be fun to have a playmate…and explained that getting a new brother was like getting a new best friend, he started to get excited."

"I have a best friend already, "Joe muttered sullenly feeling even lower then he had before. His mother was actually trying to get him excited about this. He just wished he could crawl into her lap like he did when he was young and things frightened him. He wanted her to hold him and make everything better.

But she didn’t.

Joe wanted to tell her so badly that it was making him nauseous but he couldn’t. He didn’t want his family to know how weak he had been…and still was. He hadn’t been able to protect his mother…hell he hadn’t even been able to protect himself.

Deep down the boy was terrified that when they found out, they would be ashamed of him. And that the one thing that could hurt him even worst then William ever did…if he saw the look on their faces that he felt in his heart.

* * *

Frank was finishing his homework when his mother and brother got home. As usual his father was gone out of town and wasn’t expected to be back until tomorrow.

"How’d it go?" he asked looking up from the table where he had spread his books. He had a desk in his room but right now it was holding his half completed science project and he didn’t want to move it yet.

"I’m going to my room", was Joe’s answer and Laura considered him for a moment before forcing a smile and her face and ruffling her oldest son’s hair. Her talk with Joe hadn’t gone as well as she had hoped and she resolved to talk to Fenton about it when he got home tonight. Together they would try and work Joe out of his melancholy.

"Frank…" Laura sat down across from the 16-year-old, "do you remember how you felt when we were adopting your brother?"

The dark haired youth closed his math book and sat back for a few moments trying to remember the jumbled up feelings that he’d had as a 6-year-old, "Sort of. A bit."

"Well Dr. Bates thinks that Joe is feeling kind of like you did back then," Laura tried to explain hoping that Frank would have some pearl of wisdom he could offer to help make Joe feel better.

"Oh", was all Frank said not realizing his mother was hoping for something more profound.

"I know this is a lot to expect", Laura continued when Frank didn’t say anything else, "but right now it is important that we let Joe know how much we care about him and how William’s being here is not going to change anything."

"But it is", Frank admitted honestly startling his mother.

"What do you mean?" she asked more sharply then she intended as she misread her son’s intention. Did he think he wouldn’t feel the same towards Joe then as he did now?

"When there’s a new member of the family, it changes everything. Maybe not how you feel about the other people but definitely how you are with. I mean when Joey came to live with us, I knew that you still loved me as much as before but things were different, " Frank admitted.

"How so?" Laura was interested never having had this conversation with her oldest before.

"Well you have to share everything including your parents’ time. It was hard to learn that sometimes I had to wait in line when I thought my problems were more important or pressing then Joey’s. I remember hearing you console Joey in the nighttime when he’d wake from a nightmare and couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous that you were in the other room taking care of him. Of course deep down I knew that if the situation was reversed and I was the one up there screaming out my lungs, you’d be with me. But at 2:00 in the morning, when I heard you and Dad reassuring Joey that everything would be all right I couldn’t help but feel you should have been in my room doing the same."

"Frank…I had no idea", Laura felt a pang of guilt. Of course, after the child had finally been soothed back to sleep she and Fenton always checked on Frank. But by that time the older child had drifted back to sleep and didn’t know.

"I’m not blaming you, Mom. You and Dad are wonderful parents but all I am trying to say is that things changed…and they will change again when William moves in, " Frank continued sagely. Pearls of wisdom lilting from him like one so much more then his tender age, "He’s going to need a lot of your time. Time that is scarce as it is with Dad working a lot and your volunteering. I’m okay with it but then again I’ve been through it before. Joe? Well you know what he’s like and it can’t be very easy that this new kid is his identical twin. I’ve already seen how defensive he gets whenever the similarity is brought up."

Laura was shocked to realize he was right. Joe was very strongly insistent to correct them whenever it came up that William was his spitting image. I am nothing like William…came to her mind time and time again as Joe refuted the obvious.

And she knew he was right in another more subtle comment…well you know what’s he like… For all his pomp and denial, Joe was actually a very sensitive spirit and often misread comments, overanalyzing them. She knew that in spite of everything, he still suffered from low self image.

He never thought he was good enough, no matter what he did or how much they told him how proud they were of him.

Frowning, she wondered for the first time if they were being too rash about this. Just because William was his twin, maybe they shouldn’t be rushing into all this.

But a few minutes later when an excited Fenton called home. Laura forget her reservations in the place of his exciting news.

"Laura!" he almost yelled into the receiver, "You’re never going to believe this but William can come to live with us while his adoption is being processed! We don’t have to wait!"

"What?" she wasn’t sure she had heard right. When they adopted Joe, they hadn’t been able to bring him home until all the paperwork had been processed…had things changed?

"Honey, I can bring him home tomorrow!" Fenton was beaming and when Laura finally got over the shock, she started to tremble with excitement.

Hanging up she turned to Frank who was watching her wondering what the phone call was all about.

"Your Dad is bringing William home TOMMORROW!" pulling her stunned son to his feet, Laura gave him a big hug and danced around the kitchen with him. Although Frank smiled, caught up in her excitement, a feeling of foreboding washed over him.

How was Joe going to react to this?

* * *

The subject of his thought was upstairs in his room pacing again. He was exhausted and felt sick but that nothing compared to how he felt a few moments later when his mother and brother burst into his room and told him William was going to be here tomorrow.

All the color drained from his face and he sank down on his bed, his legs suddenly unable to support his weight anymore.

"I have so much to do", Laura chattered happily mistaking Joe’s reaction to his disbelief that this was happening so soon. Standing in his room, she glanced around and tutted, "Oh dear. I need to do some shopping. We’ll need another bureau…"

Joe cut her off sharply, "Another bureau. What are you talking about? There’s one in the guest room." He had just assumed that William would be given his own room and whatever hope he had left about all this dissolved as his mother graced him with a wide smile, "William’s not going to be sleeping in the guest room. That’s your Aunt Gertrude’s room. Your father and I knew you’d want him to be in your room. So we’re getting bunk beds for you guys. Of course, I don’t know if they will get here by tomorrow…oh dear. Boys excuse me…I need to make some phone calls!"

Laura scurried out of the room and Joe watched her in mounting horror. Bunk beds!

Without even looking at Frank, Joe just said miserably, "My life is a living hell."

Rolling his eyes at his brother’s dramatic comment, he draped an arm over Joe’s shoulder and couldn’t help but tease him, "Do you want the top or the bottom?"

Joe just shook his head and then before Frank realized what he was going to do, he bolted…out of the room, down the stairs, through the living room and out the front door.

"JOE!" Frank yelled after his younger brother and hastened to follow him although he knew it was useless. Joe was one of the fastest runners Frank knew and right now he was running as if the very devil himself was in pursuit.

Of course, Frank had no way of knowing just how close to the truth he was.

* * *

2 hours away in the orphanage William was humming to himself. Mr. Casing had just given him the good news. Tomorrow he was going to be moving into the Hardy house.

And now as he sat on his bed and listened to the sounds of the other boys getting ready for bed, he vowed it would be true. Unlike the past, there would be returning William this time.