"I miss you so much…" Lynn had been a little reserved when picking him up and he had worried that she was still holding a grudge for the Valentine’s Day fiasco against him. However, the moment they entered their little love-nest, Lynn grabbed him into a fierce embrace.

Isaiah heaved a sigh of relief and breathed in the fragrance of the citrus perfume she wore deeply. "I miss you too, Lynn. I was wondering why you were so cold to me…"

"I wanted to play a trick on you… for making me wait so long." She extricated herself from his arms and caressed his chin. "What will you do without me? You’re growing stubbles again… forgotten to shave today?"

Isaiah nuzzled his chin against her tender cheeks, eliciting squeals of mock annoyance from her. "No… I thought I look rougher and more dangerous this way…Girls like men with a sense of danger…"

Lynn pushed him away playfully and dashed into their bedroom and would have locked him out of it had he not quickly went after her to prevent that catastrophe from happening. "Go away… I hate dangerous men…" She teased him, pushing against the door to shut it. Isaiah laughed and knew he could easily overcome her strength but he played along.

"All right… how about dirty, unkempt husband?"

"Nope. I only love Isaiah Raily…you look too ugly to be him."

Isaiah pushed the door opened and she shrieked, running to the bed and hid under the covers. He jumped onto the four-poster bed and drew the canopy’s curtains closed before crawling under the quilt to find her.

"Too ugly? How about you kiss me and turn me into a prince?" He whispered in her ears. Lynn shook her head on her pillow before drawing his face to her so she could kiss his lips.

"You already are my prince."

***

Isaiah stepped out of the shower and secured his bathrobe at the waist. Lynn had to run off because Network had recalled her back to solve some computer mysteries. Isaiah was not a techno freak and he would never want to be one. Lynn could spend the whole day in front of a computer and be at home.

He stood on the balcony basked in the orange glow of the setting sun and contemplated bringing out his new violin for a tryst with Pachabel. Elijah had thrashed his old violin until all that remained were splinters and broken strings. Isaiah smiled grimly. What would Elijah shatter in anger when he realized that Isaiah had been telling him nothing but lies for the last few months?

But Isaiah could no longer carry on with the pretense. He was at peace with his final decision and he wished Elijah would understand- he was prepared for the turmoil and confusion that would surely come but he would be there for his kid brother. Elijah would heal from everything and, hopefully, so would Isaiah himself.

The door swung open with faint creak- a sign that Isaiah would be asked by Lynn to oil the hinges soon. Elijah stepped in and Isaiah smiled at him from where he was, noticing that Elijah had don on a suit. Elijah grinned back at him before taking off his coat to hang it up on the rack

"Hey, hey… where did you go?" Isaiah greeted his brother with some unwanted awkwardness and stepped away from the balcony. Elijah shrugged and gestured vaguely- the grin remained on his pale mien. Isaiah had a most disconcerting sense and Elijah’s happy grin did nothing to dispel his worry.

"Nowhere… went on a special date." Elijah made his way to the living room before slumping down on a beanbag. "So how’s your trip?"

"Good…" Isaiah stood where he was; the unsettling feeling was preventing him from sitting next to his brother so they could chat after so long. "I have not been to these two places in a long time but… nothing really changed, I guessed."

"Maybe if you stayed there you would be able to tell the little differences that could give a city a whole new facelift." Elijah commented coolly as he switched on the television via remote. Isaiah’s warning bells shrilled for he caught a fleeting, familiar mirrored glance gracing Elijah’s deep blue eyes.

"Maybe." Isaiah choked on his words. Breathing in for courage, he calmed himself down and sat down next to his brother.

"There’s something I need to tell you. You may…may get angry… or… I don’t know but… man… this is hard." Isaiah let out a small laugh. "Lijah…"

Elijah stood up stretched a little. "I’m sorry, Saiah. Too tired for any heart-to-heart. If Anne calls, tell her I’ll be sleeping."

"I guess she should be sleeping too if your date’s tiring…"

"I didn’t go out with her. I went out with my lady boss." Elijah informed him casually before he shrugged again and head towards his room, leaving Isaiah a little baffled.

"Wait… your boss? Are you and Anne still together?"

"Yes." Elijah stopped by his room’s door for a moment’s pause. "I merely accompanied my boss to a meeting- she’s setting up a new restaurant."

Isaiah slit his eyes- he could smell the lie, or rather, half-truth but decided to let it pass. After Elijah room’s door closed, Isaiah pulled out the small drawer of the coffee table, took out a stick from a pack of cigarette inside and lit it up. He took a couple of deep puffs and shut his eyes against his mind’s din, hoping to find that inner peace which had long left him.

His mother’s answer had been those sad blue eyes and silence. Silence. Not the peace-filled kind. It was the silence that bore down heavily with regret and remorse- the silence that he faced in the middle of the night even when Lynn was lying next to him- making him feel useless and wretched like nothing could.

"He smokes too. He smokes a lot." Elijah’s voice sent chills down his spine. Isaiah’s eyes shot open. He had not heard his brother making his way out of the room again and then creeping in front of him- probably watching him as he gave in to his melancholy again.

The last burst of evening light glinted off the serrated blade in Elijah’s hands and caused the sapphire gems on the hilt to shimmer with an unearthly blue glow. The dagger was poised, ready to stab into his heart. Isaiah pushed himself back further into the beanbag, glancing at the knife and Elijah’s impassive mien alternatively.

"Lijah… what’re you doing?" The tremor in Isaiah’s voice betrayed the fear he felt at what his brother would do. Something happened to Elijah the few days he was gone. Something bad.

Something like memories.

"Nothing. Had fun prying into businesses you have no right to?" Elijah droned, still gripping the dagger. Isaiah struggled up and backed away some more, not knowing why he would want to reach for his gun in the drawer of his study desk.

Self-protection probably- from the brother he resolved to protect.

How ironical.

Elijah advanced steadily before making the first strike which would have grazed his cheek had he not dodged with lightning quick reflexes to one side.

"Elijah… don’t do this now… don’t make a mistake…" Isaiah staggered back even more. His room was only a few steps away. Elijah’s lips curled into a sneer.

"Elijah? Not Lijah now, dear brother?" Elijah spat out venomously like a cold-hearted serpent bent on killing its prey. "Has my past shocked you so much that you cannot face up to it?" He aimed then for Isaiah’s chest but Isaiah brought his right hand up to block the deadly contact. A sharp pain jarred through his system and warm, wet blood dribbled down his forearm. It was only a surface cut but it wounded him like no other injuries he sustained in his entire dangerous career.

Elijah, in his frozen fury, brought his dagger up again for another stab but Isaiah, ignoring the pain, grabbed his brother’s striking hand and landed a punch to Elijah’s guts.

Elijah fell to the floor with a crash and roared in rage. Isaiah dashed for his room and slammed the door shut behind him before making a mad rush for his gun which was not loaded but which he hoped would frighten Elijah into retreating. And then he would talk sense into his brother- he would explain everything and Elijah could go see a therapist.

They could do this properly.

Elijah had recovered quickly from the blow and kicked open the door. It smashed into wall with a resounding crash and only Elijah’s body kept it from shutting again from impact and Isaiah spun around, his gun in hand.

"Put down the dagger, Elijah. We can talk this over." Isaiah pointed the gun at Elijah, his heart sinking as he did. Elijah’s eyes blinked away the threat as he laughed sharply- hysterically.

"You’re going to shoot me? Go ahead, Saiah. I don’t care much for living anyway. Liars. All of you are liars and he trusted you! Stupid Lijah trusted you and he trusted all your lies. Not me… I won’t be so dumb. You’re just like the rest! Playing with my mind. Shoot me! Go ahead!" Elijah stretched his arms out so Isaiah could get a clear shot at his chest. "Make it painful. Shoot through my stomach!"

"Kiddo… calm down. I’m not playing with your mind… I didn’t know what to do either… I… Lijah…"

"Lijah, Elijah, Lijah… blah blah blah!" Elijah mocked him in a high-pitched tone. "Make up your mind! Not playing with my mind! Admit it! You can’t stand the sight of me! You could have left him alone! But no… you have to go seek out his past. Enjoy it? It makes a good thrash novel, don’t you think? HUH?" Elijah lunged for him and Isaiah did the wisest thing- he stepped away and his brother and Elijah collided with the bedside table and seemed to have pierced the dagger through the wooden surface cleanly like it was butter.

"I’ll drop my gun and you’ll leave your dagger alone. We will talk over this, bro. It doesn’t have to come to this."

"Doesn’t have to? I got you out of my life and now, you’re back in the worst way. You played with my mind and told me lies. You abandoned me before physically and now, you’re doing all you can so I can never come back. You call this brotherly love? Why don’t you just shoot this adult version of Elijah so you can forever think about the little brother who hung on your every word; who engraved all your empty promises onto his heart; who screamed at night silently hoping you will finally come and take him away like you. Said. You. Would." Elijah’s fluid accusations ended in staccatos- disjointed words that he emphasized individually with a violent punch by his free hand into the front side of the night table. The wood cracked then fractured- the jagged splinters tearing the thin layer of translucent skin protecting Elijah’s left knuckles to bring trickles blood.

"Admit it, Saiah. You hate me along with everybody. You hated the way I became. My amnesia must have seemed like an answer to your prayers." Elijah hissed with quiet harshness, looking down on the bedside table as his body heaved with deep, angry breaths. Isaiah put his gun down on the bed and went over to Elijah, placing the palm of his good hand on his brother’s back.

"I’m sorry. I wanted to come clean just now… I really did… forgive me, Elijah. I’m not the best brother… I’m a lousy one. Forgive me." Isaiah spoke softly as Elijah crumbled down onto the floor with the knife still in his hand. It was impossible- Isaiah seen the hilt pressing against the surface of the table top.

Elijah sensed his confusion and answered his unspoken question. "It’s retractable- not the real thing. You got wounded because the side of the blade is too sharp. It wouldn’t have stabbed through you. I just wanted to let you feel how it felt like to almost die." Elijah spoke numbly, his eyes devoid of emotions. He stroked the scars on his left forearm with perverted lovingness. "It’s a feeling I get everyday of my life and I dread it because the death threat never followed through."

Isaiah left the gun on his bed and knelt down in front of his brother- relief flooding through him now that he knew Elijah was not capable of truly murdering him- yet. He placed his hands on Elijah’s shoulders as a quavering smile managed to find its way to his lips. He was still shaken by the brief ordeal; however, Elijah’s sanity would come first before his own need to nurse the trepidation squeezing his heart.

"My gun’s not loaded as well…"

"How regretful." Elijah commented dryly, shaking away the touch. "You could have done me a huge favor."

Isaiah watched his brother carefully- Elijah sat as still as a statue and his mien was once again the unfeeling carved marble. A sigh of regret caught in his throat and he choked back on tears.

"It is too late, Lijah?"

Elijah threw the fake dagger on the floor and it landed on the floor with a resounding clang. "I’ve packed."

"Where are you going? Do you have enough cash on you?" Isaiah touched his brother’s forearm. "Can you just give me one more chance?"

The pale, blond man stared at him and blinked twice. "Don’t you understand, Saiah? There never was a need for chances. We have ceased to be brothers long ago. You can safely cut the bonds between us, Isaiah. They are strangling me."

"No… Lijah…" Isaiah ran out of words for even one plea. Elijah stood up and sauntered out of the room, leaving Isaiah pathetically kneeling down on the floor still. He knew he should have run out and stopped him. He knew he should have at least tried. He didn’t the previous time at the cemetery and he couldn’t find the courage to now.

All he could do was turn around and slump down against the impassive wall that offered a backrest and nothing more. No tears could come to him- there would not be comfort in a terrible revelation. Bitter, silent tears fell in two brief rivulets as he remained seated on his bedroom’s floor even as he heard the front door opened and then shut quietly.

Did he fear that he would lack the endurance? Maybe in a way, he didn’t want to chase after Elijah. Maybe he could not bear the burden after all.

"Hush little Lijah, don’t say a word. Saiah’s gonna buy you a mocking bird…" Isaiah sang brokenly. Jaded eyes looked up at the ceiling as the mind behind longed for a childhood that, though horribly perverse, was still innocent. There used to be the blissful knowledge that Elijah would never hold anything against him- that his brother, the person he sworn to protect forever, trusted in him completely.

And now, the knowledge was passé and it was Isaiah who had broken the delicate trust that he had so tediously built again with a pack of lying cards.

"And if that mocking bird don’t sing, I’m not gonna buy you more stupid things."