Lynn turned the key into the lock, tired after hours of breaking passwords and squeezing through loopholes in firewalls. Sometimes, she wondered if she had done the right thing by transferring back to the ‘techie’ side of Network but she knew it set Isaiah’s heart at ease for Isaiah would rather bury just a partner than his wife if he had the choice.

The moment she stepped in, she was a little taken aback by the darkness. Isaiah’s steadfast love and devotion for her showed in all his little actions and thoughtfulness- no matter how late or how long she would be gone away from his side, she could always count on Isaiah to leave a light on for her- a manifestation of his nature to always wait for her and guide her home- to try his best to find a beacon of light for her even if his own light was dimmed.

After switching on the lights, Lynn opened up the built-in cabinet at the side of the entrance to keep her court shoes and change into her comfortable, fluffy home slippers. An empty shelf caught her attention- it was allocated to Elijah and all his shoes were gone.

Furrowing her brows, she spun on her heels and hurried over to the only room she knew Isaiah would seek refuge in if he was depressed. Knocking urgently on their bedroom’s door, she turned the knob when she received no answer from him, flung the door open and immediately switched on the light to dispel the darkness.

Anxiety melted into protectiveness when she saw him sitting against the wall in his bathrobe with his long, strong legs sprawled uselessly on the floor. A picture of utter defeat, he was staring up at the ceiling with emerald eyes that turned into opaque, dull-green jade and his mouth agape. She had seen that look many times before and she had tried her best to slap it out of him when Elijah left without a word the first time, leaving behind Isaiah floundering in an unspeakable sense of failure.

As she gently approached him, not wanting to alarm him unnecessary, she noticed the dried gash on his forearm and her eyes strayed to an exquisite dagger lying a short distance from Isaiah. Worry mounted when the corner of her eyes caught his pistol lying in the midst of their rumpled bedspread. Kneeling down beside him, she tapped him on his shoulder.

"Baby? It’s all right now… I’m home…" She coaxed him out of his melancholic stoniness.

His hands clenched into fists and she could tell his fingernails were pressing painfully into the womb of his palms. Shaking his head, Isaiah’s breathing became even more ragged. "I didn’t even get a chance to speak to him. So what if I’ve solved the mystery? So what if I have, in my mind now, a chronicle of his life which I hoped would have explained to me why he became so cold, wishing to find the key to unlock his soul? I’ve screwed it up, wasted all my prized cards in my hands and tore up the triumph card willfully. All that’s love is this fat joker laughing in my face." Painful words squeezed from his chest wrenched Lynn’s own heart. She one with Isaiah when they took their wedding vow- his joy was his, so was his anguish.

The cadence of the tragic music came finally, rolling down to a crash. All that Isaiah had one were with good intentions but good intentions did not translate to the right actions every time. Yet, she could not blame Isaiah for she knew the conflict in his mind- she knew the pain he felt every time Elijah laughed for Elijah only laughed merrily without his memories. To give Elijah back his past would be to give him back his miseries. Though she had chided him before, had offered him an alternative solution, she knew she would be in a quandary had she been his position. It was often so easy to judge but she would not. She was not walking in his shoes.

In her, he would only find understanding and comfort. She knew he understood that for he turned and collapsed into her arms. She embraced him tightly. She, the woman- the frailer and softer of the two- became the pillar of strength. As she soothed his muscled back, feeling it tensed up before his body shuddered and then wracked with soundless sobs, she came to accept that it was not up to her to close up his wound. She could only play the nurse and bandaged the injuries but Isaiah was the one who must keep them from festering. He was the one who must have the courage and will to close them up forever.

She was the one who must let him know he could and help him through.

"When he left, I was so relieved…" He spoke heartbreakingly into her shoulder. "I can’t endure through this… I really can’t. It’s so easy to blame his lack of receptiveness to my efforts but the truth is, I didn’t do enough…"

"You did your best, Saiah." She whispered softly.

"No… I did not… did not…"

Lynn held him for as long as he needed her to. As he clawed the sides of her arms, urgently scraping for support for he was falling apart, she knew there was an uphill task to climb again. In a way, she also accepted the fact that Isaiah would always willingly trudge behind Elijah, stepping into where Elijah strode into after cold calculation- through the muddy swamps, down the quick sand, into the depths of the ocean. Elijah would risk all he had just to win and Isaiah would be forever bounded to follow behind just to catch Elijah should he fall and bring him back to safety.

She knew that. She knew Isaiah well. And she knew she loved him too much to not hold his hand as he walked the dark path he had chosen. She knew she had to grip his hand hard so Elijah could never cruelly pull Isaiah down, just to see how far he could push his brother. She had to make sure Elijah would never have the chance to sacrifice Isaiah or exploit Isaiah’s love for him in a bid to win whatever paranoid, selfish war he was waging against the world. Lynn would be the selfish person to counter Isaiah’s giving nature. She had to be selfish.

She was his wife- the wife of this brooding, melancholic man with a baggage of guilt breaking his back. It was her duty and her heartfelt desire to see that Isaiah would never lose himself.

***

She threw her cell phone into her handbag and dashed across the street to catch the empty cab that was approaching, mindless of the danger she could have gotten into with the moderate traffic. The moment she climbed in, she directed the driver frantically the way to Sunset Bar. Isaiah was once again in his brooding depression but he still helped out in the orphanage on Lynn’s encouragement. Only Jason and Jasmine could bring a smile to his lips nowadays.

Though she was concern over her best friend’s depression, she was falling into the dark waters herself. Every night, she stayed up by the side of her phone, hoping he would call. Her cell was always on in case he needed her. But he did not. For a whole month, he did not contact her- he had no need of her.

Spring arrived and she had wanted to admire the budding leaves together with Elijah. She wanted to frolic in the thawed fountains, holding on to him as they danced to the tune of love. His sudden departure and Lynn’s disjointed explanations left her lost and suspended. She called his cell incessantly only to find out that he had cut the line. There were no more tears to be shed but the endless whys could not be answered.

Then, this night, just as she was dragging feet home from a new magazine she had joined, he called. His voice sounded different but she did not care. She only wanted to see him, to hold him and ask him to come home to her.

Sunset Bar was already half-filled with lazy patrons but to her relieved, their booth was not yet taken. She walked in, greeted the familiar waiters and waitresses and simply shrugged when the bartender asked her, as she walked past the counter, why she had not been in for a while.

The moment she sat down, a waiter approached her with a letter. He was the same guy who served them the first time Elijah brought her there, thinking that she had never discovered the place before. The song he sang for her was given a new rendition by the in-house band but still, it evoked those painful, sweet memories.

"He said I’m not going to break any hearts." The waiter gazed at her with some concern. Anne raised a brow and took the letter. After reading it, she fell into a stunned silence.

She would know later, after she woke up on her bed with a hangover, that Elijah had called Lynn as well, asking Lynn to send her home.

***

Son of Daniel Raily.