‘I can’t be sponging off you, bro. I need a job but I really can’t remember anything I’ve learned… those law stuff or whatever… it sucks. Did I used to have job? If so, where? I bet they must be trying to find me or something…" Elijah asked in between mouthfuls of his salad that had no dressing. It just seemed natural a dish to order for lunch and he jokingly told the curious waitress that he was in training to be reincarnated as a horse.

"You had a job but you quit and returned to the huge house…"

"Which got burned down. Great. Is there some insurance check coming in?" Elijah finished for Isaiah, his voice dripping with acid at himself. Besides remembering some Chinese, he found no notable improvement in his memory. While he wanted to be patient, to wait for his past return to him, he was becoming increasingly frustrated with the lack of a history. Without this history- he had no identity, nothing to anchor him.

Without a history, he felt like a ghost who suddenly came back to life. And not only that, the closeness he tried to feel towards Isaiah was almost too fake at times. He was touched by everything Isaiah did for him- more than touched even. He felt, in a way, protected fervently. But lying down in his new room for the past few nights thinking about those conversations with Isaiah which would somehow lose focus every time he tried to talk about the past in hope of resurrecting his memories, Elijah had the most perturbed sense that their relationship was not in the same, happy state as it was now.

"You didn’t buy insurance for the property…" Isaiah replied sketchily. Elijah saw his brother’s face fall into that incomprehensible state of melancholy and tried to cheer him up. At the same time, he felt extremely stupid that he would forgo insurance for something so important which totally wiped out his savings.

"So now I’m really broke. Do you mind me leeching off you? At least smile like you’re enjoying paying everything for me." Elijah teased his brother, grinning finally when a smile softened the taut, elongated lips.

"More than happy." Isaiah assured Elijah before twirling his fork into his spaghetti.

Elijah stabbed at a slice of tomato before commenting frivolously. "Looks like someone up there decided to give me a blank template to work with."

Isaiah choked on his spaghetti and Elijah set his fork down, concerned.

"Everything fine with you?"

"Yes… just swallowed too fast." Isaiah spat out whatever was choking him into the paper napkin. He pushed his spaghetti aside and started making crisscrossed patterns with his fork on the side dish of mashed potatoes he ordered. Elijah was yet again reminded of the questions he wanted to ask Isaiah but did not dare to. Something was stopping some of his queries from being verbalized- something that he could almost translate to the fear of actually remembering.

Elijah could not think of any normal circumstances in which a human being could be marked in the way he was- his body was scarred terribly on his back and his hands. The lines on the potatoes reminded Elijah of the interesting artwork patterned on his back but he could never seem to find the courage to ask Isaiah about them.

And in a strange way, he linked the shadows he kept seeing from the corner of his eyes to the fear of knowing about the story behind his scars. Sometimes, he would abruptly stop whatever he was doing because there was this immense hunch that a malevolent entity was behind him, waiting to pounce on him. The sense would literally freeze him but when he turned around to check, there was nothing.

Having no memories frustrated him. Trying to remember frightened him. He must be real messed up.

"Saiah…" Elijah began, taking in a deep breath. It was now or never but once again, language took flight and his mind blanked.

"Yes?"

"Nothing." Elijah went back to his salad even though his appetite had vanished, replaced by the churning of butterflies in his stomach.

"If there’s something bothering you, Lijah, just let it out…" Isaiah gazed at him worriedly. Elijah bit his lower lips. He knew Isaiah would not be satisfied with a simplistic answer to skirt the issue he stupidly started.

"Uhm… it’s been quite some time but there seemed to be no news regarding the arsonist or who attacked me. I will gladly admit I’m a little… well… afraid?"

Isaiah smiled at him gently. "Don’t worry about it. I am taking care of it. You are safe now."

"I just wish the perpetrator is caught." Elijah stuck a tongue into his left cheek and pushed his salad away from him after which he took a sip of water from his glass.

"Most likely it’s a random act of mischief. Maybe you were returning home when you saw the culprit committing the act and got hammered for it. Just thank God you’re alive."

"Yah, right…" Elijah drawled derisively and felt a twinge of guilt when Isaiah grimaced, as if his remark had physically wounded Isaiah. Hastily, he tried to switch topic.

"So... why would I want to buy an old mansion for?" Elijah scratched the side of his head. "It just seemed… strange… I don’t think I like ancient stuff."

Isaiah gazed down on his food and mumbled something Elijah could not catch. Then his brother looked up again with a grimly set face. "You won’t tell me the reason why you bought it too. You simply gushed about love at first sight with it."

"Huh? And I just bought it on impulse?"

"Seemed like it. Hey, want to catch a movie later? The Cineplex is re-screening some classics lately." Isaiah nodded at the window behind Elijah. Elijah turned around and saw a billboard proclaiming some movie across the street. He did not recall enjoying movies too but Isaiah seemed quite enthusiastic about it so he nodded his agreement.

And three hours later, Elijah only remembered falling asleep for the entire duration of what Isaiah proclaimed to be a great show. When Isaiah asked him if he wanted to party New Year’s Eve night away at some trendy disco because he had entry tickets, Elijah, in his somnolence state, simply yawned and shook his head.

He could not, for his life, understand why was so special about New Year’s Eve that everyone would want to forgo precious sleep for.

***

"Lijah! Watch the red wine!" Isaiah called out to his brother who was balancing threw glasses of red wine precariously on a small, round metal tray. As he was sauntering like he was a professional waiter on Lynn’s very much love white furry rug, Isaiah spotted a fold that Elijah could trip over and accidentally ruin the carpet with a permanent stain.

"Oops…" Elijah tottered as Anne quickly rushed over to steady him. Grinning at Isaiah sheepishly, Elijah slowed down his strides and under Isaiah’s watchful eyes, laid the tray safely onto the coffee table with no spills at all.

"You’re so full of yourself. If the rug is spoiled, Lynn will skin and boil you alive!" Anne gave Elijah’s arm a playful slap and Elijah immediately held on to it like she had just shot him.

"I’m made out of crystal… you can be gentle…" Elijah groused while Anne rolled her eyes and went over to Isaiah who was still cleaning up some food spills on the beanbags made by Elijah earlier.

"Memory loss had turned him into a klutz…" Isaiah muttered, shaking his head. Elijah was now sniffing at his red wine, making a face at the same time. Isaiah was glad Anne accepted his invitation graciously- it was his blessing to have Anne as his best friend. Quick to forgiveness, Anne had chatted with him over the phone after accepting his invitation as if nothing had happened. Whatever it was, the both of them had been through much more awkward situation to let a quarrel born out of good intentions destroy their priceless friendship.

"He walks quite gracefully. Maybe he’s just… distracted sometimes."

"I’m just glad he’s happy now." Isaiah made a final wipe at the mark the salad cream left behind. Standing up with a heavy sigh, he threw the dirty rag onto a rancid shirt which was lying around in one corner. With Lynn gone and the house ineffectively run by Isaiah, the apartment had successfully morphed into a pigsty.

Anne clucked her tongue. "I will never pick up after you. Does Lynn clean up this place all by herself?"

"Nope. She nags, rants and, when out of patience, yells at me to pick up my own mess. Elijah’s much neater than me. Lynn will love him to pieces, divorce me and marry him." Isaiah mused. "It would be worse without Elijah around but I strictly forbid him to do any housework- he needs to enjoy life."

"And how are you going to explain the mess to Lynn?"

"Simple. I’ll hire a cleaner before she comes back." Isaiah ruffled her soft, brown hair. "Don’t worry about me."

"Hey, are you two ladies done talking? It’s going to be twelve in a few moments!" Elijah called out to them, holding out two glasses of wine for them. Isaiah smiled and went over right away. He took a glass for Anne first and then himself. Standing around the coffee table, the three friends held out their glasses, getting ready for a toast.

"Ok… there’s time. What’s your one most important resolution for this year, Isaiah?" Anne asked, gazing at him expectantly. Isaiah, caught by surprise, was tongue-tied.

"Ah… hmm… be a better person?"

"Sheesh. Mine is to earn enough for a trip around the world." Anne spoke resolutely. Isaiah remembered all the New Year’s Eve he spent with Anne and laughed heartily.

"You wish that every year! It will never come true if you don’t become slightly selfish, stop volunteering and start earning some dough."

"Well, I can wish again since it did not come true! Maybe I may win some lottery or something." Anne gave him a haughty look before she nudged Elijah who stood next to her, looking a little lost.

"And you?"

Elijah swirled the red wine in his glass gently, pouting a little. "I have only one wish… I want to remember… so I can understand what the two of you are saying. We must have spent some New Year’s Eve together right? Maybe this celebration will whack some memories back into my brains."

‘Good wish." Anne thumped his back and pointed at the digital clock displayed on the wall, ignoring Isaiah’s troubled mien. "Ten Seconds…9, 8, 7,6,5,4,3,2,.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!" She screeched and enthusiastically toasted all their glasses. Throwing her arms around Elijah, she hugged him fiercely and then kissed both his cheeks, spilling some red wine down the back of his shirt at the same time. Nonetheless, from the pleasantly embarrassed expression on Elijah’s face, Isaiah knew his brother would not mind even if she had dunked his head into a barrel full of spinach juice.

Elijah extricated himself from Lynn to embrace Isaiah. Isaiah absent-mindedly clapped his brother’s back, preoccupied by his brother’s wish.

"Group hug!" Anne rapped her slender arms around both brothers before bursting into the ageless song. "Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind…"

"That’s not a good song for my wish…" Elijah complained. "I like those carols. We should sing a carol. What about Jingle Bells?" He arched his brows and beseeched them with begging rounded eyes.

"You’re so troublesome! All right, all right. Jingle bells, jingle bells…" Anne blandly humored Elijah, perhaps in hope that he would discover how ridiculous it was to sing about Santa Claus on New Year. Elijah must dense at that moment- he loved Jingle Bells and his whole face lit up like a light bulb.

"Jingle all the way… oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open-sleigh… hey!" Elijah joined in happily. Isaiah extricated himself from the group hug, breaking it as he stepped away from the two rowdy youngsters and gulped his red wine down in one huge mouthful.

"Hey! Saiah! Saiah! We should take a photo. I wonder why we have so little photos… I mean, I have none! Let’s start a collection now… we ain’t that bad looking that we’ll shatter the camera lens, right bro?"