The doctor turned to leave the room which stunk of medicine and sterilization. Isaiah scowled at the retreating shadow of the diminutive, bald-headed man in that spotless white coat which, to Isaiah, was soon about to be stained with Elijah’s blood. Because of the doctor’s diagnosis that he needed rest and he needed to be held down to the bed by those dreaded IV tubes which were feeling like "vein-cuffs" to him, Lynn was adamant that he stayed in Mount Sinai while letting Gray Man and the other two agents do their work.

"Isaiah, please… don’t act like a child. You know in your current condition you just can’t…" Lynn began her rhetoric, told in many versions. Isaiah did not know why but his patience was running thin. In his mind, he kept hearing the child, Lijah, screaming as he was carried away by their despicable father.

"Oh… right. Blood’s going to start flowing out of the damn wound…" Isaiah tried to sound brave but he was a little paranoid about moving his head, fearing to touch the bandage in the event that he might actually be able to poke his finger into the bullet hole and maybe draw out some brains.

"We’ll find Elijah and bring him back here to you…" Lynn tried to persuade him but he halted her, saving her the trouble because he did not want to hear. He had heard too much and everything she said did not make sense.

"How are they going to do that Lynn? The Eaeshore Police best experience is perhaps nabbing a kid trying to take candy from an old woman! I have seen the interior… I have heard things… things that if you let me go and investigate, they’ll fall in place. We’ll catch Elijah that way… better than have Gray and the rest of them going round in circles about things they don’t understand!" Isaiah was now desperately trying to rip those IV tubes off and Lynn glared at him before she gripped one of his wrists hard. Surprised and shocked by her strength, Isaiah stopped.

"You need to rest, Isaiah. I mean it or I’ll punch your head and make you sleep again!"

"REST! REST!" Isaiah snapped out of his startle and hollered into Lynn’s face while he reached over with his free hand to grab her shoulder, driving the point across with a shake accompanying each word. She shook her head, not with anger but with pleading sad eyes now, trying to appeal to that soft spot he always had inside for her, a spot melted by the torch he had been carrying all this while, waiting for her to finally see that he was the one she was pining for all her life. Yet, now the soft spot was covered over with something called stubbornness and the impulse- the violence due to ineptness. "I HAVE BEEN RESTING FOR FIFTEEN DAMN LONG YEARS WHILE HE SCREAMS INSIDE THE DAMN MANSION AND DAMN IF I’M GOING TO REST AGAIN!"

He stilled his breathing and squeezed his eyes shut but the images never stopped reminding him; the clock never stopped ticking. She was openly tearing now, afraid by his manhandling of her; afraid of the monster that surfaced and consumed him.

"Isaiah, don’t… please… you’re hurting me… Isaiah…" she implored and he heard the liquid anguish, those precious drops of diamonds that he vowed would never fall because of him. Another promise broken, another person in pain because of him.

He loosened his grip on her and fell back against the backrest of the bed, his eyes still shut.

"You don’t know what I’ve seen, Lynn. What’s he going through now, what’s he going through before." He meant it as a statement, it needed no response. No words could make those visions any less disturbing or urgent. Opening his eyes, he turned the other way, away from her and gazed out of the window, wishing for a pair of wings and good sense so he could just fly himself out of the hospital and to his brother’s side.

"I’ll rest. If that’s what you want. Go away. I don’t you or anyone around right now." He finished, unable to keep the acerbic tone out of his voice, lacing his every word with something as poisonous as arsenic because he could sense they pierced into her heart and fizzled the flesh.

Though he felt terrible because he never want to hurt her even if he was forced to, he did not want to take the words back either. He had a responsibility towards Elijah, no matter how badly Elijah treated him, Elijah was still his little brother- the white-blond boy, the pale skin and those startling deep blue eyes like twin turquoises flashing in the night sky. He could remember Lijah so well; he could try to understand the man he had become.

He should try instead of longing for something that might never be.

"I won’t go away, Isaiah. I’ll stay here to watch over you…" She tried to take his hand and though he did not clasp hers back, he did not withdrew his either. It was this contradiction of his- the more she hurt him, the more he wanted her to just make contact with him- stroke his shoulders, kiss his cheeks, force him to embrace her back. Sure, he was not perfect, he might push her away but if she did not try, if she just left him alone to his pain, he would feel quite lost and the misgivings would deepen.

"You’re hurting me more now, Saiah. Please… you have always pampered me… and I’m sorry… I can’t be anywhere but be here with you. Can’t think of anything else except your health. You plague me, Saiah. Every second you were asleep, unconscious to the world, unmindful of my kisses on your cheeks, you invaded my being and I can’t stop worrying, can’t stop being jealous over what could be so powerful to hold you to the other side. I don’t want that worry flooding through my system again; I will go crazy- I promise you. I’ll be insane. If you go running around, you’ll risk infection and who knows what that will bring? Your death and our future along with it? Have faith in the rest of the team… they’re veterans… they know what they’re doing…" She concluded hoarsely and he felt a hot tear drop onto his skin; almost could hear the plop. It stung him; it injected guilt and shame into him. Her love for him, it was always there.

Now they both felt it.

He curled his fingers around hers-the silent apology. She tightened her gentle grip.

"Lynn, in this whole wide world, there’s no one I led down more than my brother. I know he’s in captivity, being tortured… his cries haunt me and I can’t rest. I can’t leave him alone. My mother chose to be blind; my legs were too reluctant to carry to his side before. Now that he’s in trouble again, I can’t leave him alone, I can’t fail. For my mom’s sake, for my sake and most of all, for his sake. He can’t die without knowing… knowing how sorry I am, how much he’s loved. He can’t die thinking he’s forsaken and dumped, can’t die hating himself. He’ll die, Lynn, if I don’t go… he’ll die. Gray’s a veteran, but I’m his brother."

"Saiah..." Lynn protested weakly and placed her fingers on his lips to silence him but she was moved by the words he spoke from the depths of his heart. She had that effect on him, she drew blood from him, forcing him to bare his soul and there was nothing he could do about it.

"No…" Isaiah, resolute, gently took those slender digits away. Gazing up into her wide, black eyes- eyes that promised stars and planets in a galaxy yet to be born- he saw himself, his unborn children, and a house in a peaceful neighborhood. He would not throw that away, he knew it would all come to pass.

"I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t try. I promise you… nothing will happen to me. Nothing can happen to me because… because I still have to take care of you. Remember my calling? I’m called to take care of you."

Her face crumpled and a fresh flood of tears burst through, her body shook, wrecked with indecision. He reached forward and kissed her cheek- kissing away her tears, the sadness and the fear. The saltiness ate into his being and he knew, with profound wisdom, if she did not let him go, no matter how much he loved her, he could never be with her.

"Lynn…" he whispered, begging- trying to tip the scales over in his favor. She closed her eyes and nodded- reluctance in its curt vigor. A sharp pain shot through his skull but he ignored it.

"Trust me. Trust in my promise. I love you too much to put you through what you had endured all over again. Believe me Lynn; I’ll never leave you alone. I can’t bear to." He extended his hands weakly out to her and she rested her head gently on his chest. Everything about her was so soft as he held on to her nubile body, feeling the warmth permeate his being to dry the tears inside of him. She was still crying, dousing his heart with acid.

He had hurt her and she was in agony. He stroked her back, alternating between hushing her with tender, loving words and kissing her fragrant hair which aroma was thankfully not conquered by the disinfectant smell of the hospital. It had broken her heart to make that choice but he was thankful that she did. For all her anxiety, apprehension and possessiveness, she let him go.

"I love you." She whispered and he kissed the top of her head.

"I love you too."

***

The wee hours of the morning was especially cold or it could be just his chilly heart, frozen over with biting fear. Colored over with red tinted maroon, the stormy sky that hung too many swollen clouds let flow torrential rain- forming a formidable, watery wall around Lynn’s BMW 7 series, which she hardly used.

The windscreen wiper was basically redundant throughout the whole journey and the only warning signs they could see to avoid banging into other cars were unfocused yellow lights of street lamps and headlights- each on looking like suspended fireworks but without the clarity or the beauty, just rounded like mushy flowers. Isaiah tilted his head a little up to look up at the sky through the misty windscreen just in time to catch two consecutive lightning striking across the heavens; ripping the red sky. The dazzling blue bolts illuminated the world with undulating brilliance- the brightness much more intense than a million light bulbs but the stunning sight also was a million times more dangerous. They blinded his eyes and when his sight cleared, black dots danced before him and made him nauseous.

Everything made his nauseous the moment Lynn helped him secretly out of the hospital after they tore off the IV tubes and pasted some plasters on the punctured wounds. She had left for a while and came back with a cap and a new change of clothes for him. The rain made her nervous and she squint as she drove. He would have taken over but somehow, he had this most annoying feeling of motion sickness, a sense of vertigo while being on solid, firm ground.

"We’re here. I think I see the police..." Lynn pulled up and exited the car, drawing an umbrella from her side first. The heavy rain sprayed into the car and Isaiah waited until she came over to his side with the umbrella that was big enough for four people but useless against the deluge because in the short span of time, she was already drenched.

"The rain’s not good for your wound!" She shouted even though she was only inches away from him after she opened his door and he felt sprays of rain hitting his face He struggled out of the seat, sought pitiful shelter under the covering and slammed the door shut. The rain was deafening and communicating through some form of telepathy that only exist between lovers, they started running in sync across the small lane towards Danny’s house which was cordoned off.

"FBI." Lynn flashed her card and Isaiah did the same. The policeman guarding the area was huddling himself, most probably soaked to the bones even with the heavy raincoat protecting him. He waved them in without checking their passes. Rain did that to people- just want to move things along and pray for it to stop.

Once in the safety of the derelict building, it’s depressing state surpassing that of the crying skies, Isaiah shook off drops of water from his hands and looked around. The house was obviously empty and he wondered where Gray Man was.

And as if on cue, Gray Man and Iggy appeared out from inside of a room, in deep, whispered discussion. Isaiah and Lynn stood where they were, knowing it was a matter of time before Gray and Iggy would raise their heads and notice them.

Gray looked up first and was in angered shock when he saw Isaiah, in his pale blue jeans, white t-shirt and Nike cap.

"Hi, Gray."

"You!"

"Yes. Me. Not a walking dead, just awoken so you don’t have to gawk at me like I’m some freak show. What have you two found out so far?" Isaiah approached them and peered into a cardboard box that Iggy was carrying, seeing shredded, tiny pieces of paper inside.

"In this downpour, everything will be soaked through. What are these?" He fingered the bits of paper and some vague lines and torn off letterings. Without hearing the answer, he knew immediately it was the remains of a map.

"You’re supposed to be in hospital! I can’t sacrifice another agent. We’re shorthanded enough as it is!" Gray man tried to mask his concern with callous words but he did not have the detachedness of Elijah to pull it off. Isaiah acute sensitivity filtered the anger and fear to hear only the worry and he smiled, patting Gray’s shoulder absentmindedly.

"When it’s time to die, no matter what happens, I’ll go. But I won’t be going so soon. I’m here on this Earth for a purpose and it’s not finished yet." Isaiah mumbled, picking up a handful of the remnants of the map and gave Iggy a quizzical look.

"Yes but we’re not supposed to be speeding towards our eventual fate. Damn it Isaiah… spare a thought for Lynn, will you?" Gray looked at Lynn for someone to back his claim but Isaiah could sense Lynn giving Gray an apologetic smile from behind, fully placing her trust in Isaiah.

"I did, Gray. Why do you think I’m here? What’s up with this map?"

"Geez… it was ripped and torn like someone hated it or something, or maybe it’s a clue to the murders… so we picked up the pieces and see if we can do something about it. My guess is we can’t. The whole thing’s more destroyed than MJ’s face." Iggy was more helpful than Gray who was still fuming. Isaiah nodded towards the room they exited from.

"That’s Danny’s room?"

"Yup… that’s the one." Iggy ascertained it for him.

"I’m going in."

Gray swore under his breath and gestured for Iggy to set the box down on the floor. The four agents crowded inside the bare room and Isaiah glanced at the slashed pillow. "Any idea why?"

"No… anything that Elijah found out is only in his mind. His scrap notes are of no help."

"Elijah takes notes all the time…maybe he left some other form of media somewhere… his car?" Isaiah ventured, remembering the details that Lynn had filled him in on the long journey there. Danny’s suicide; Elijah’s abandoned car. Elijah might be a selfish, independent partner but he was no idiot. There must be something he left behind just in case.

Just in case.

"We have combed it…nothing…" Iggy stifled a yawn which made Isaiah glad that he had insisted on participating in the search. Veterans or not, they lacked the fervent and drive to seek out his brother. There was no love lost between Elijah and anyone else in the department. Only Isaiah had the instinctive need to find his brother and would not rest; could not sleep until he did so.

"Where is it?"

"A few houses down. It’s pouring…"

"Bring me there." Isaiah commanded and Iggy shrugged an "all right" signal, earning himself a glare from Gray.

As Isaiah followed Iggy out of the house, taking the umbrella along with them, Isaiah heard Gray Man reproaching Lynn behind him and wanted to turn around then to tell him it was not Lynn’s fault. He demanded and there was nothing Lynn could do. It was either Lynn went along with him or he would escape by himself and probably die on the way because he was in no shape to drive. Yet, hearing Lynn’s sharp retorts, Isaiah knew she could take care of herself and left with Iggy to Elijah’s car, dreading the rain that would soak through his skin once more.

***

"His car!" Iggy pointed out a Toyota to Isaiah who gave him a baffled expression, knowing sight was better than sound because there was no way he could compete with the crashing of the rain on hard concrete. Iggy caught it and deduced what Isaiah must be thinking of, his mind sharpened with years of working as a Secret Agent, trained to read into nuances and then second-guessing accurately.

"I think he switched his rented Mustang for this! To avoid being too obvious coming back into town!"

Isaiah nodded and peered into the car’s window, trying to see if there was anything out of the ordinary. The rear-view mirror, twisted at a sharp, dangerous angle for the driver, was not something Elijah would stand driving with. Elijah might be a little psychopathic in his coldness but he was a careful man. There was no way he would endanger his life.

Isaiah closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. One, two, three, four, five. After the frantic rhythm of his heart normalized, he pointed to the rearview mirror. "Anyone tempered with it?"

"WHAT? I can’t hear you!" Iggy shouted too loud this time and the volume punched a blow to Isaiah’s throbbing skull.

"The rearview mirror! Anyone touched it?"

"Oh. No. We were wondering too but it’s stuck… so maybe he got a bad deal on the car."

"Maybe he twisted it so acutely that it got stuck! Thought of that?" Isaiah challenged and intuition guided his sight to follow where the rearview mirror was pointing to. Iggy arched his brows- a new perspective was presented and it sounded more plausible.

It pointed to the mailbox, lonely by the side of the road with dampened brown leaves stuck onto its metal shell. Isaiah smiled grimly.

"We’ll have to call Eaeshore Postal Service. Either that, or I’ll have take a sledgehammer and knock it apart."