“Hey, are you avoiding me or something?” a soft voice came from behind Paul, startling him, as he didn’t know anyone else was in the stable with him. He had been lost in thought, as he groomed Grace’s black coat to a shine.

“Larry, you scared me!” he chastised her even as he smiled, glad that she had finally been released and was home once again.  “What gives you the right to do that to a fella – I could’ve had a heart attack or something!”

“Oh please,” Laura scoffed as she passed her brother a curry comb and then stroked Grace’s nose affectionately, “I think you’re in good enough shape to take a little startle every now and then. Besides that, I wasn’t trying to sneak up on you – but it wouldn’t have mattered if I wore shoes with bells on them, because brother dear, wherever you were, it wasn’t here.”

He blushed slightly, knowing she was right – he had been lost in thought.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, avoiding her question. She had only gotten home yesterday, and he was a bit nervous seeing her on her feet again, although she had been through more than enough physical therapy to ensure she was physically strong enough.

“Avoiding the subject, are we?” Laura asked, scrutinizing the younger teen carefully. Typical Paul!  When there was something on his mind, it might take a bit of weaseling to get it out. But she had patience – he would talk to her when he was ready.

“Not really. Just a bit of brotherly concern,” Paul denied as he stopped brushing the horse and appraised his sister. She looked perfectly fine, but he knew that looks could be deceiving.

“Well, you can stop worrying about me,” Laura insisted.  “I’m fine…but it’s you I’m worried about. Now come on, little brother, spill. It doesn’t take a mind reader to see there’s something on yours.”

Paul sighed and started brushing Grace again – he really didn’t want to talk to Laura about this.

“Okay, kiddo. But you need to talk to someone, as whatever this is, I can see it’s eating you up.”  Over the past couple of months, Laura had noticed a change come over her brother.

Although he was still mostly the same, and tormented her unendingly, there were too many times when he had become quiet and grim – and she didn’t like that at all.   Something was bothering Paul, and she was determined to find out what.

“I can ask Dad to talk—”

Whirling quickly Paul cut her off.  “That’s not even funny! You know me and Dad, talking isn’t our strong suit unless he’s the one doing it!”

“Paul—”

“No Laura, not Dad!  Never.”

Her concern intensified when Paul used her name instead of ‘Larry’ – this was serious. 

Her younger brother had started calling her ‘Larry’ when he was a baby and found her name hard to pronounce, as he’d had some speech problems.  And then even after he could say ‘Laura’ he seldom did – still preferring to call her by the name he first knew her by.  Larry.

“Okay, okay, calm down,” Laura said, sighing heavily. It bothered her how distant their father had become since their mother’s death. She didn’t remember him being so cold before. So she understood Paul’s reluctance to talk to him – talks usually ended up in lectures, regardless of what they were about.

Right there and then she resolved that if she ever had children she would never be like her Dad. She would make sure they understood they could always talk to her, about anything, no matter how trivial they thought it might be… like Paul usually did.

And that brought her back to her current problem – her brother. They could talk about anything….So what was up now?

What was bothering him so much that it could dampen a spirit as carefree as his?

Laura didn’t know, but she was determined to find out.

* * *

After Paul saddled Grace and took her out for a run, Laura stayed in the stable. She walked from stall to stall, talking and visiting with the other horses that were there.

The Scotts provided boarding for six horses and owned four of their own – well three now, Laura thought sadly as she stopped by a now vacant stall.

Heart.

This was the first time Laura had been in the stable since the accident, and now that Paul had left, it began to hit home about what had happened, and what she lost.

“Oh Heart…” she said as she felt a tightness in her chest, “oh my beautiful Heart.” Laura ran her hands along the wooden door, as she knew she would never again come here and hear his nickered greeting or feel the press of his velvety nose into her back when he felt she was ignoring him.

Opening the stall door, Laura went in and stood in the empty pen.  Someone, probably Paul, had mucked out the stall already…and then she saw something that had never been there before.

Tacked to the back of the stall was a picture, and a sob escaped Laura’s throat as she looked at the picture. It was taken last summer, after they had won first place in a local equestrian event – it was her and Heart.

Pulling the picture off the wall, the beautiful girl slowly sank to her knees with her back pressed against the wall…. Clutched the picture tightly to her chest, and cried.

Her Heart was dead….

* * *

Paul rode hard and fast. He hoped, irrationally, that if he rode fast enough he could escape the feelings that threatened to overwhelm him whenever he let his guard down.

He had killed Heart…and he had almost killed his sister.

The one person he loved above everyone else…the one person he would die for in an instant….Or kill for, if necessary.

But it didn’t change the facts – it was still his fault.

How could he tell Laura? He desperately wanted to talk to her, and to confess what he did, but how could he now? Not when he could see the pain in her eyes, and was witness to her difficult recovery.

No, he couldn’t. It would eat him alive first but he couldn’t….

Damn it, he thought as Grace approached a fallen tree and he prompted her to jump it, I’m too selfish to even tell her the truth….What if she hates me?

And then Grace refused to jump and once again Paul was thrown from her broad back.

But this time, he didn’t land on his butt….

* * *

Laura staggered to her feet, dropping the picture as she did.  Something was wrong….she felt it like a knife through her stomach.

Something was wrong with Paul!