hardy boys fan fiction
THE TROUBLE WITH RED
hardy boys nancy drew fan fiction
by
Phoenix
Chapter 1
hardy boys fan fiction
THE CHAPTERS
17-year-old Joe Hardy groaned as he drove, “Mom is going to kill me! Forget Mom, I’m going to kill me!”
Beside him, his 18-year-old brother, Frank, tried to keep his snickering under control – a task he was sadly failing at – and when his brother shot him a glance, the older boy tried to commiserate. “I’m sorry, kiddo, this isn’t funny, really—” it didn’t work. His barely controlled snicker turned into outright laughter – something that wasn’t helped by the dirty look Joe shot him. “I’m s-sorry!” he chuckled.
“I might find your apology more believable if you weren’t laughing at me, at the same time!” Joe snorted as he waited at a red light. “Either way it’s not funny and it’s your fault!” The light turned green and he started through the intersection.
“Hey – you leave me out of this!” Frank refuted, “What did I do?”
“Oooh you know exactly what you did!” the younger boy snapped, “giving that girl those shy little looks, batting those long brown eyelashes at her, licking your lips—”
“Licking my lips?” the eighteen-year-old squeaked, “what’s that got to do with anything?”
“It’s all part and parcel of the same thing!” Joe persisted, “A subtle way of telling a girl you’re ‘hungry for her’! Distraction, big brother! That is what it’s all about and what you did! You distracted her and I paid for it!”
“Hungry for her?” Frank held his sides he was laughing so hard, “That’s a good one. I have to remember that one.”
“Doesn’t matter anyway,” the ‘blond’ boy decided, “Callie’s going to ‘starve’ you out when she finds out.”
“Starve me out? When she finds out what?” Frank demanded wondering if his brother was hungry again.
“When she finds out you were making ‘koochie eyes’ at another girl,” Joe informed him.
The older boy sobered immediately. “I was NOT making ‘koochie eyes’ at her,” he defended himself. “She just seemed like a nice person.”
“Yeah, a nice person who happened to use the wrong color dye on my hair and now its RED! Flipping neon, glow in the dark RED at that!” the normally blond boy wailed.
“Well, that wasn’t my fault. Whose bright idea was it to suggest we go and dye our hair orange and purple anyway?” Frank asked, unable to resist the play on words.
“It was all part of our disguise, Frank, and it worked brilliantly,” Joe reminded him, casting another mournful look in the rearview mirror at himself and repeating, “Mom is going to kill me!”
The boys had just finished a case in which they had dyed their hair to look like punk rockers – not the first time they had done so, unfortunately – and, as in the past, they had gone to a salon to get their hair dyed back to ‘normal’ before going home. However this time things had gone a bit awry.
While Frank had ended up with pretty close to his own hair color, Joe’s was now a brilliant red. Having had to catch a flight back to Bayport, the boys didn’t have time for the salon to correct the problem, and now as they drove home from the airport, Joe bemoaned his problem.
“I dunno, little brother,” the older boy couldn’t resist tormenting, “I think red is a rather fetching color on you – it brings out your eyes!”
“Bald….That’s it! I’m going to be forced to shave my head, wear a loin cloth and hide out in a cave, referring to myself as ‘the boy formerly known as Joe’ until my hair grows back,” Joe over-dramatized, ignoring his brother. “I’ll have no choice. And when people ask about me, you can cross yourself and hold a moment of respectful silence in memory of the brother you once knew!”
“Joe—”
“Or maybe I can find a monastery in the Alps or somewhere else cold, where I’d have to wear a hat all the time anyway, and no one would be bothered by my crimson locks—”
“Joe…”
“Oh the shame—”
“Joe!” Frank slapped his brother’s leg, “Would you pull into Mr. Pizza’s – I gotta take a whiz.”
Horrified Joe gasped, “Mr. Pizza? Me? In public?” He ran his hand through his hair, “Like this???”
“Well, maybe you should wait in the van,” Frank couldn’t resist.
“See,” Joe ranted even as he got into the lane to turn into the parking lot, “my own brother – ashamed of me!”
“Joe,” Frank interrupted again, “Just park.”
“Fine. Okay,” the younger boy continued, doing as his brother instructed, “but I’m waiting in the van.”
“Good idea,” Frank laughed as he undid his seatbelt and got out of the vehicle after Joe had pulled into an empty parking spot. He paused and looked at the miserable spectacle in the driver’s seat, “You going to be okay for a few moments by yourself?” His brown eyes glinted with humor, “Not planning on making away with yourself while I’m gone or something, are you?”
“Nope,” the blond (oops, I mean) red-haired boy sighed as he sat back in his seat. “I figure I’ll wait ‘til you get back. Wouldn’t want to deny you the pleasure.”
Shaking his head, Frank slammed the door shut and was still chuckling as went into the pizzeria and headed for the bathroom.
* * *
“Hey, isn’t that the Hardy kids’ van?” Officer Stuart nudged his partner as they drove past the local pizza hangout and saw the dark colored vehicle parked outside.
“Looks like it,” the other officer admitted as he slowed the patrol car down and caught a glimpse of the young man sitting in the driver’s seat. “But Hardy ain’t got no red-haired boy. Wanna run the plate?” He pulled over and kept a wary eye on the vehicle as Stuart listed the tag number off to dispatch and got confirmation that the van did indeed belong to Frank and Joe Hardy.
“It’s not been reported as stolen,” Officer Stuart admitted.
“That don’t mean nothing,” the other man said, his voice grim, “either way, it warrants a closer look…”
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Disclaimer
The Hardy Boys belong to Simon and Schuster and the Stratemeyer Foundation. The Hardy Boys Fan Fiction authors of the Hardy Detective Agency have just borrowed them for an adventure or two. The authors promise to put the boys back when they are done with them. The authors do claim copyright to the original characters in this story. Please do not borrow original characters without express permission of the authors.