It was lunchtime before Frank saw his brother again.  He was already sitting at the table they always shared with his friends, when Joe came in. 

It took a few minutes for Joe to actually get in through the door, as he kept being stopped by people who wanted to tell him how happy they were to see him alive and well.  Frank went over to him to give him a hand with his tray, as he saw Joe give it a pained look – he knew his brother hated wearing an arm sling.

After piling his tray with food, Joe followed Frank back to the table, and the smile on his face only wavered for a moment when he glanced at all his friends and wished Vanessa was still here.

* * *

Vanessa had been his girlfriend.  But when he died, she found it too hard to be around Frank and the gang, so she had transferred to another school.  Joe had not seen her since he had gotten back, although he had talked to her once on the phone and it had not gone too well. 

She had told him that while she still loved him, she couldn’t see him any more. 

Joe and Frank had chosen to follow in their father’s footsteps and were often in danger.  Vanessa had already almost lost Joe before, and now, after grieving for him for the past two months and then finding out he was still alive, she had decided she couldn’t continue like that.

“Joe, I can’t do this any more – never knowing from one moment to the next whether or not you’re okay.  I love you, but your life is too dangerous for me….I already lost you…I grieved for you…I buried you…please, I can’t do it again.”  She hung up before he could even reply.

Frank didn’t know about that, either. 

After Iola Morton, Joe’s girlfriend, had been killed in a car bomb that was meant for him and his brother, he had grieved.  It had taken a long time for him to move on, but he did get past it…and it had been Vanessa who had helped him make that move….

He still missed Iola, and after Vanessa had hung up, Joe went to his room and cried.  He cried for the loss of Iola; he cried for losing Vanessa; he cried for himself. 

You never learn, do you?  he had sobbed. That’s twice death has yanked your heart from you.  Just be happy you don’t have to visit two markers in the cemetery….

After a long time, Joe sat up and regained his composure - enough was enough. 

At 17 years of age, the teen decided that he was emotionally burned out and there was no way he could ever love anyone again.  Not like Vanessa, and never like Iola.

It hurt too much, so he had picked up the cell phone and called his ‘brother.’

The only thing he was grateful for was that Frank was over at Phil’s helping him with a computer program, and had not witnessed his fall from love’s grace.

“Hello?” he had heard Pharaoh’s voice a few seconds later.

* * *

“How was class?” asked Frank with a worried look.  He noticed that everyone seemed to be watching them, and now he began to feel what Joe must have been feeling like – paranoid. 

To his relief, Joe smiled back at him.

“It’s okay – I’m fine now, honestly!”  the younger boy said sincerely, and Frank relaxed, turned back to the others, and they began talking about a movie that was coming out on the weekend.

Frank had no idea what Pharaoh had said to Joe but whatever it was, it seemed to have worked and he was thankful for that.

Joe started to eat his lunch, but wasn’t paying much attention to what was being talked about, as he kept remembering the last time he had sat down and had lunch with everyone. 

Vanessa had been teasing him about what she was going to give him for his birthday, the next day.  Absently he found himself wondering what it was….

He was still thinking about her when he noticed everyone at the table had gotten quiet and were looking at him.

“What?” he asked sheepishly, as he realized that someone must have asked him a question and now they were waiting for a response.  Next to him, he could almost hear Frank’s worry button clicking on.

”Sorry, I was just thinking about the work I have left to catch up on,” he lied.  If anyone suspected that he was adlibbing, nobody commented on it, and instead Callie repeated her question again.

“Frank and I are going to see the movie this weekend; do you want to come with us?  I already have two tickets but I can get you one if you would like?”  she asked sweetly. 

Joe wondered why she was being nice to him; Callie always let him know that he was the third wheel in her relationship with Frank...although she was clever enough to never do it when Frank was in earshot.

“No – I have other plans,” he said as he glanced at Biff and Chet for help.  Immediately, Biff piped up.

“Oh yeah, Joe said he would help change the oil in my car.” 

Joe shot him a look of gratitude, as he suspected that Callie knew what had happened between him and Vanessa, and was trying to embarrass him into admitting that he would have to go by himself.

Her next question would have probably been to ask him if Vanessa wanted to go.

Frank watched the exchange but said nothing. 

He knew that something wasn’t right, and, although he suspected that Callie had an ulterior motive for asking Joe to join them, he had no idea what it might be. 

But he decided to give her the benefit of a doubt – she was probably just asking Joe because she knew that Frank would have wanted to but not without asking her first.  Callie had given him immeasurable support over the two months that he thought he lost Joe.

And he knew she was finding it difficult now that Joe was back, because Frank just didn’t have the same time for her.  Although she told him she understood, Frank really hoped she did.

* * *

The rest of the day was uneventful, but Frank was starting to get a bit worried when Joe didn’t show up at his locker right after classes ended.  He was just considering going to look for him when he saw the familiar mess that was Joe’s blond hair as his younger brother talked to his geography teacher further down the hallway. 

They were walking towards Joe’s locker, and Frank felt himself relax.  Of course! He should have realized that Joe might have stayed behind his classes to talk to his teachers. 

As they got near, the teacher waved good-bye, and as he opened his locker, Joe eyed his brother and said, casually, “You don’t have to worry so much, you know.”

Frank was flabbergasted.  “ What makes you think I was worried?”

Joe rolled his eyes.  “Frank, you are always worried.  I swear that one of these days you’re going to worry yourself right into a stomach ulcer!”  He grabbed his books, and the brothers made their way towards their van.

“Excuse me…but I was ‘concerned,’ and there is a world of difference between concerned and worried!” clarified Frank, pretending to be indignant, but he was actually enjoying the sparring with his brother.  It had been a long time since they had carried on like this. 

Joe laughed.

“Whatever, big brother!  But seriously, you don’t have to be worried, or rather concerned, about me all the time.  I’m a big boy, I can look after myself.”

Frank guffawed.  “That is the sorry lot for a big brother – especially when they have a little brother who can’t even button up his own shirt!”

Joe stopped laughing as the last remark actually stung a bit – he really hated having to rely on people to do things for him that he should be able to do by himself. 

Frank immediately realized that he stepped on a sensitive issue, and started to apologize, but Joe stopped him.

“Frank, don’t!  See, this is what I mean!  Now you’re worried that you upset me, and you’re getting ready to apologize for me being overly sensitive.  Stop it – I hate the way you’re always worrying over me.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it that my big brother looks out for me, but seriously bro, you are doing too much worrying – you’re starting to worry me!”

Frank studied Joe for a moment and with a shake of his head replied, “Okay, I’ll try not to be so ‘concerned’…but I can’t promise you anything.”

Joe smiled at that.  “Well, that will do for a start.  Anyway, if we don’t get home soon, Mom will give us something to really be worried about!”

* * *

The brothers were still chuckling over that thought when they arrived home a little later.

As usual, Joe went to his room to call Pharaoh, and Frank went back online to see who, if any, of his chatline buddies were around.  He was really trying not to let it bother him that Joe was on that cell phone again, but it was hard….

* * *

Later that night Joe Hardy lay in his bed staring at the ceiling.  He knew it would hurt his family too much if he told them…but he missed his old room.  Not the room he was sleeping in now, or even the small one that he had when they lived in New York, although he did not remember anything about it, as he was a baby when they moved to Bayport.  But he missed the room he slept in…as Remus. 

The room was situated on the back of the house, on the third floor, overlooking the ocean, and he missed the sound of the waves on the shore and the smell of the briny water.  He missed just being Remus….

He lay there thinking about everything that had happened, and that was when the realization struck him that he missed being Remus Plyth. 

Except for the occasions when he was tormented by Andreya or Terry, his life had actually been rather pleasant and extremely uneventful.  He didn’t remember any of the pain that he now felt being Joe Hardy.

When he had first gotten his memory back, along with it came the flood of emotions that he had worked so hard to bottle up.  He felt the fresh loss of Iola Morton as he remembered her; he felt the pressure of trying to measure up to what was expected of him; and he felt the loss of his innocence as he now knew what it was like to be someone else. 

Not everyone’s life was involved with getting kidnapped, beaten up, terrified or constantly trying to help strangers…and then Joe felt even more horrible when the guilt for thinking like this hit him – what was happening to him??

Quietly getting out of bed, he dressed in the dark and crept downstairs.  He knew both his father and brother were light sleepers, so he was extremely careful to make no noise. 

When he got in the garage he looked longingly at his birthday present, but he knew he couldn’t drive the bike with a broken arm, so he put the van in neutral and let it roll back out of the garage and onto the street before starting the motor. 

He didn’t want anyone to hear….

* * *

Joe drove around for a long time before he found himself turning off onto a dark side street.  Although he had not been here in over two months, he felt like it was just yesterday.  He parked the van and got out.

Not bothering to check the gate, which he knew was locked, he slowly dragged himself over the fence.   Normally it was a much easier thing to do, but when one has a sling on…well, it took him a few minutes, and even then he still managed to rip his pants on the top!

Then ungracefully falling, he landed in a heap inside the cemetery grounds.

“Ouch!” he groaned as his good elbow hit the ground first, “That’s going to leave a mark.”  His voice sounded out of place in the stillness of the graveyard.

Picking himself up and doing his best to brush off the dirt, Joe staggered through the cemetery.  It didn’t take him long to get to her marker, and letting out a breath he never knew he’d been holding, Joe sat down beside her headstone.

“Did you miss me?”  he asked as he absently smoothed some of the grass that grew on her plot.

“I miss me,” he answered quietly.

* * *

What’s that noise?  Frank thought as he roused himself from the deep sleep he had fallen into.  It took him a second to realize it was the sound of someone ringing the doorbell, and pounding loudly on the front door.  Looking at the clock, he wondered who the hell would be at their door at four in the morning! 

He met his father in the hallway, and they looked at each other questioningly as they ran for the door.  Frank wasn’t too surprised to not see Joe because his little brother hated getting out of bed.

They were shocked when Fenton opened the door, to see Officer Con Riley standing on their front step.

“Hi, Fenton, Frank – can I come in?”

Surprised and instantly alarmed, they knew something was wrong.

“Hello Con,” Fenton greeted the younger man, “Please come in.  What brings you to my door at this ungodly hour?”

Con shuffled nervously because he already knew the answers to the question he was going to ask.  “Sorry…but I need you to check and see if your van is in the garage.”

Frank immediately ran out to the garage and came back a second later, his face pale.  “The van’s gone!” 

Before Con could ask anything else, Laura Hardy appeared at the top of the stairs in her housecoat and called down, “Is Joe down there with you?” 

She had heard Con address both her husband and her oldest son, and she had gone to make sure that Joe was all right, but she found his room empty.

Not waiting for either Frank or Fenton to answer, Con spoke again.  “Please sit down.  There’s something I need to tell you.”

Frank felt his knees go weak, and saw his father and mother unconsciously embrace; they knew this wasn’t going to be good.

“Fenton, we found your boys’ van a little while ago.  A concerned driver had alerted us that a dark-colored van was seen recklessly driving on the highway and two units were dispatched….The driver refused to pull over and a high speed chase ensued.” The officer ignored how pale the family was becoming as he continued, “He lost control and did a 360 degree spin on the Carter Bridge before smashing through the guardrail and going into the water.  A dive team’s been sent to the scene—”

“Oh my God,” Laura broke in as she put a hand over her mouth – where was Joe? 

Con looked straight into Fenton Hardy’s eyes, his own eyes burning.  “Fenton, we think Joe was in that van.”

“Frank!”  His name being yelled was the last thing Frank heard before he passed out.