(Authors Note: Very special thanks to Sparks and Evergreen for allowing me to "re-create" their marriage proposal scene from Death on the Fourth of July.)

Joe threw down the pen in frustration and leaned back against the couch, running his hands through his hair. He had just gotten off the phone with his father who had called to update him on another rape that had taken place two nights earlier. He was once again speaking to his father and brother, but just barely. He had grudgingly admitted to himself that if he refused to speak to them he would be shut out of the investigation completely as they were his only source of information, however limited it might be.

He had tried one last time to find out why they were not being honest with him by asking his mother to intervene. She had mumbled something about not getting involved in their work problems and left it at that. Joe immediately knew that she was aware of the reasons for Frank and Fenton’s dishonesty but had no intention of telling him.

Feeling an overwhelming sadness, he still could not believe that Frank had been withholding information from him and at times flat out lying to him. He was not completely surprised that his father might do something like that, but Frank was another story. They had never kept anything from each other and never, ever under any circumstances lied to each other. What hurt him the most was not so much that they weren’t being truthful with him, but that they wouldn’t tell him why. If he had done something wrong to make them act this way, how could he correct it if he didn’t even know what it was?

Joe had always wanted his older brother to be proud of him. With the way Frank had been acting towards him he could only assume that this time he had handled himself so badly that Frank was too ashamed to even want to be in the same room with him. He could deal with that, but he did not know if he would ever get over the fact that his brother had lied to him.

Joe had thought his father and especially his brother would have gone out of their way to make sure he knew every detail of the investigation. Especially since he couldn’t participate as fully as he wanted to since he had to stay close to Vanessa. This wasn’t just any case they were working on. The victim had been Vanessa and the crime had been unspeakable. And now it appeared she had been raped simply because someone was carrying a grudge against Joe. That new information combined with watching Vanessa struggle just to make it through each day without falling apart and now knowing his family no longer trusted him for whatever reason, was causing the strain he was under to be almost more than he could take.

Looking back down at his hastily scribbled notes he got a chill. This time the victim had been a fifteen-year-old freshman student at Bayport High. He tried to block out the fact that his mother had been at the school that night and had in fact spoken with the girl minutes before she was abducted and raped. Based on the mysterious notes he and his father had received, he had a strong suspicion his mother had been the intended victim that night but something had gone wrong. He could tell by the tone in his fathers voice when they had spoken that he was thinking the same thing although neither one of them said it out loud.

Picking up the papers in front of him, he began to re-read his notes. The young girl who had been raped was still hospitalized. Ever since she had arrived in the emergency room, she had been catatonic. She stared straight ahead, seemingly in her own little world. She hadn’t spoken a word, hadn’t acknowledged the doctors, nurses or her worried parents. They had finally ended up putting her on I.V.’s since she would not eat or drink. The doctors could find no physical reason to explain her catatonic state; they had concluded it had to be the psychological trauma of being raped. The only way the young girl could deal with what had happened to her was to completely shut down.

Joe had thought being raped couldn’t possibly devastate anyone worse than it had Vanessa. Since coming home from the hospital, she hadn’t wanted to see anyone but Joe or her mother. Except for the occasional outburst of anger, she had become quiet and withdrawn and seemed overwhelmed with guilt and shame. She had taken a leave of absence from her job, refusing to leave the safety of their apartment except for her daily sessions with Dr. Jennings. After what his father had just told him about the latest victim, he found he was actually grateful that this was the extent of Vanessa’s reaction.

The phone rang interrupting Joe’s thoughts. He grabbed it on the first ring and stepped out onto the balcony. He didn’t want to wake Vanessa who was asleep in the bedroom. She had had a particularly bad night, waking up several times crying out in terror, which resulted in both of them getting very little sleep. She had finally fallen asleep a few hours earlier from sheer exhaustion.

"Hello." Joe answered closing the sliding glass door behind him.

"Hey, man. How’s it going?" It was Biff’s friendly voice.

"Hey, Biff. What’s going on?"

"Not much. Just wanted to see how you’re holding up, buddy. Is there anything I can do for you? Or Vanessa? Is she up for visitors yet?"

"I don’t know. She didn’t have a real good night last night." He sighed. "I know it’s only been a week but I’m scared, man. I’m scared she’s going to be like this forever." His voice broke.

"Hey, come on." Biff tried to comfort his best friend. He knew Joe would do anything for Vanessa. She was the most important thing in the world to him. "You’re doing everything you can. No one could be more supportive or understanding than you are. And even if Vanessa isn’t up for visitors yet, what about you? I’m here for you, buddy. Ask Andrea to come over and stay with her. We can go for a ride, grab a cup of coffee, shoot some hoops. Whatever you need."

All the Hardy’s friends were aware of the rift between Joe and his father and brother and that Phil had been working closely with Frank on the investigation. The rest of their friends had rallied around Joe trying to stand in for Frank even though they all knew that, as far as Joe was concerned, no one could replace his big brother.

In the bedroom, Vanessa was slowly beginning to wake up. With a sharp intake of breath, she bolted upright, looking around frantically. Her heart was pounding and her breathing was hard and labored. Dr. Jennings had told her these incidents – waking up scared and disoriented after dreaming about being raped - were called ‘night terrors’. She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.

She repeated it to herself over and over like a mantra. She thought it might really work this time until one, lonely tear slid down her cheek. Lying back down on the bed, she rolled onto her side and curled up into a ball. At first, this habit drove her crazy. She was almost as tall as Joe and loved nothing better than to stretch out her endlessly long legs. Now, without even realizing it, Vanessa would curl up into a ball whenever she would lie down. Dr. Jennings had also explained this strange, new behavior. Involuntarily, Vanessa was trying to make herself as small as possible. ‘A small target.’ Dr. Jennings had said.

‘Great.’ She thought. ‘I don’t even think of myself as a person anymore; I’m just a target.’ Another tear escaped down her cheek.

"I will NOT cry!" she said out loud. "I won’t!"

Her eyes wandered to the framed photograph of she and Joe on the nightstand. Her favorite picture, it always brought a smile to her face as it did now. It had been taken about a year ago when they went on vacation with Frank and Callie to the island of Antigua. The girls had wanted to lie on the beach and, as Callie had so eloquently put it, ‘Sip drinks with little umbrellas in them!’ The boys wanted to try every water sport the island had to offer.

Being the dare devil that he is, Joe had insisted on trying the bungee jump off a cliff over the water. Frank and Vanessa had frantically tried to talk him out of it, fearing he could be seriously injured. As usual, he got his way and loved every second of it. At the last minute, Vanessa had paid the extra fee to videotape the jump as a surprise for Joe. After they got home, she would jokingly say it was the biggest mistake she ever made. From that point on, everyone who came to their home was forced by Joe to sit and watch the video at least two or three times while he narrated.

She remembered the look of sheer terror on Laura Hardy’s face the first time she saw it. It had taken several minutes for her breathing to return to normal after watching her youngest son voluntarily throw himself off a cliff. She had then jokingly yelled at Frank for standing by and allowing his little brother to do such a thing. Vanessa laughed out loud at the memory.

‘I forgot how good it feels to laugh.’ She thought.

The most amazing thing about that vacation was that Frank and Joe had managed to go the entire week without getting mixed up in some kind of mystery so she and Callie had had the boys all to themselves with no interruptions. The only low point for her had been the occasional pang of envy when she would catch a glimpse of Callie’s engagement ring. She hated herself for feeling that way but she couldn’t help it. She and Joe had been together since they were seventeen. They had been living together since they graduated from college. When Frank and Callie got engaged she had begun to wonder if it had been a mistake to move in with Joe. He seemed perfectly content with their relationship the way it was and she wondered if he would ever want to take the next step. Then three months ago he had surprised her with an engagement ring for her birthday.

She still couldn’t believe Joe even remembered her reaction to Laura’s story that day and was touched that he went to so much trouble to re-create it for her. She smiled as she recalled his laughter when she had asked him "But how did you get it to snow on cue?"

Many times since that day, Joe would wake up in the morning to find Vanessa wide-awake and staring at the ring. He would then tease her mercilessly all day, frequently grabbing her left hand to ‘check and make sure it’s still there.’

Rolling onto her back, she stared at the ceiling. Joe had been unbelievably loving and supportive since the rape. She cringed when she thought of the way she had been treating him. One minute she wanted to be wrapped safely in his arms, the next she couldn’t stand his touch. She would beg him not to leave their apartment and then couldn’t stand to be in the same room with him. She was too ashamed to see anyone other than Joe or her mother. If one of their many friends stopped by to see how she was doing, she would hide in the bedroom until they were gone. When they left, she would yell at Joe for letting them in. She was taking all her anger out on Joe and he did not deserve it. When they would go to bed at night, after being the target of her frustration all day, Joe would hold her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her, how grateful he was that she was still with him. It would take everything she had not to dissolve into tears.

He took all her erratic mood swings in stride, never losing his temper, never getting angry, simply taking whatever she had to dish out that day. His unwavering devotion and support left her wondering if he didn’t deserve someone better. He was the love of her life and she was deathly afraid if she didn’t get her behavior under control he would get fed up with being her own personal punching bag and walk out.

Dr. Jennings had told her all this was normal behavior. She didn’t care. Joe had treated her like a princess since the day they met. He at least deserved to be treated with respect; something Vanessa had not been capable of since the rape.

‘Today will be different,’ she promised herself. ‘I will not take my anger out on him. I will treat him the way he deserves to be treated – with respect. I will tell him I love him and how thankful I am that he has stood by me.’

With new resolve, she got up and went into the bathroom. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she barely recognized herself. There wasn’t enough make up in the world to cover the dark circles under her eyes. The frown seemed to be permanently etched on her face. The fearful, haunted look in her eyes scared her the most. Would it ever go away? ‘At least my hair is clean.’ She thought bitterly. She had felt so dirty since the rape that she had showered at least twice a day in an effort to feel clean again. She would often want to shower even more but the look in Joe’s eyes when she headed for the bathroom was enough to stop her from doing so more often. Now washing her face and brushing her teeth, she wondered if she would ever feel clean again.

Wandering out to the living room, she saw Joe standing on the balcony talking on the phone. ‘Typical.’ She thought with a smile. She knew he was standing outside in the cold because he did not want to risk waking her up while he was on the phone. She watched him alternately lean over the balcony railing and then gesture wildly with his hands. She loved the animated way he talked when he was excited about something. No one could tell a story like Joe Hardy. She sat down on the couch not wanting to interrupt him. Watching him talk, she thought she caught a flash of the smile she loved so much.

Leaning forward, she started to straighten the jumble of papers Joe had left on the coffee table. The notation "#*" caught her eye. Looking closer, she realized they were notes about the investigation. Ever since she had been attacked, everyone involved in the case had been working nonstop to find the serial rapist. She inhaled sharply. He’d struck again – someone else had been raped! Reading further she let out a small cry. ‘Fifteen years old?! My God, she’s just a baby! Two nights ago?’ She could not believe Joe hadn’t told her! She stood up just as Joe opened the sliding glass door and walked into the room.

"Hey, beautiful." He smiled at her.

Forgetting the promise she had made to herself just a few short minutes ago, she threw herself at him, pounding her fists on his chest.

"How could you!" she screamed at him. "How could you keep it from me?"

Looking past her at the coffee table, Joe realized she had found his notes. All the color drained from his face. He hadn’t meant to keep it from her on purpose; he just could not seem to find the words or the right time to tell her.

Vanessa continued hitting Joe, apparently having abandoned all self-control.

"You promised me you’d catch him! You promised! How could you let this happen?"

Joe closed his eyes trying to hold Vanessa closer. ‘She doesn’t mean it. She doesn’t blame you. She’s just upset.’ He told himself.

"My God, Joe, she’s only fifteen! She’s just a baby!" Vanessa raged on. Joe felt like his heart was being ripped out. "If you’d caught him like you said you would this never would have happened!"

Vanessa regretted the words the instant they left her lips, but it was too late. She looked into Joe’s eyes. He was crushed. She could not have hurt him more if she had stabbed him in the heart.

"I’m…sorry, Joe. Oh, God, I’m so…sorry!"

He nodded mutely but the damage was done. Vanessa knew Joe still carried an enormous amount of guilt over Iola Morton’s death. She knew he felt guilty for not picking her up at work the night she was raped. Now she had just accused him of being responsible for the rape of a girl he had never even met.

She buried her face in her hands and sank to her knees, sobbing. He’d never be able to forgive her for this. She thought of the stranger who had raped a week earlier. ‘If there is any justice in this world,’ she thought bitterly, ‘by the time this is over you’ll be dead.’

She felt Joe put his arms around her and wondered how he could even stand to look at her let alone touch her. Sitting on the floor next to her, he pulled her into his lap. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, laying her head on his shoulder, continuing to apologize for her outburst.

"I know it’s not your fault. I am so sorry, Joe. Please, forgive me."

While Joe had been stung by what Vanessa said, he was also secretly relieved at her outburst even if it was directed at him. Since coming home from the hospital, she had been so quiet and withdrawn, so despondent; Joe had feared she would never get past this initial stage of recovery.

"You don’t have to apologize for anything. You can take it out on me anytime. I love you, Baby. If yelling at me makes you feel better, go for it. I’m here for you no matter what."

Vanessa pulled away just enough to look in his eyes. For the first time since the attack, Joe thought he saw just the hint of a smile.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" Vanessa asked, leaning forward and kissing him softly.

Joe held her tightly in a rush of relief. Maybe this was the first step on the way to recovery. They sat quietly for a long time before Vanessa broke the silence.

"I want to see her."

"What? See who?" Joe was confused.

"The girl in the hospital. I want to go see her." Vanessa pulled back once again to face Joe. "Can you arrange it?"

Joe was speechless. This was the last thing in the world he had expected and he wasn’t at all sure he liked the idea.

"Honey, I know you want to help but are you sure that’s such a good idea?"

"She’s not eating, she’s not talking, she’s just…existing. All because of that…that…bastard!" she spat the last word out. She was angry again, but for the first time she was not angry with herself. "I might be able to get through to her. I know you hate hearing this but I know exactly how she feels. I know what she went through. Please, Joe, let me do this."

She could tell by the look in his face that he was not at all happy with her plan.

"I’d feel like I was doing something to help. Dr. Jennings said the best way to help myself was to help someone else if I could. Maybe I can help her get past what he did to her." She silently added. ‘Maybe I can help myself start to get past what he did to me, too.’

Joe sighed. He knew once Vanessa made up her mind about something, there was no stopping her. It was one of the things he loved about her.

"I’ll see what I can do."

"Thank you!" she hugged him tightly. "Thank you so much! You won’t be sorry, I promise!