Laura had no idea how long she sat at the kitchen table, staring at the wall. When she had spoken to Fenton the night before he had been edgy and vague.  Even taking into consideration the extenuating circumstances of this case, it was still too out of character for him and it made her uncomfortable.  Tonight she had forced the issue, not giving up until he told her what was bothering him so much.  His unusual behavior now made a lot more sense.

Laura shook her head, still in shock at the details Fenton had shared with her; Jeff’s alcoholism and a DUI charge had led to his losing his job… the Cutters had to declare bankruptcy and lost their home.  Carole succumbed to severe depression and developed an addiction to Valium.  At one point, Kevin had been their only means of support, working a full time, forty-hour a week job while he was still in high school. 

Laura swallowed nervously, feeling a twinge of guilt.  Were all of the Cutters’ problems due to the guilt they felt over Joe’s kidnapping?  Did Laura and Fenton’s refusal to even acknowledge their existence play a part in it?  How hard would it have been to let them know Joe hadn’t remembered a thing and was living a perfectly normal childhood? 

She had voiced these thoughts to her husband, whose response surprised her.  Both his choice of words and the way he spoke made her wonder if he was starting to second-guess their actions, too.  He had been adamant that Jeff and Carole played a major role in Joe’s kidnapping and that he and Laura had every right to react the way they did.  They were only trying to protect their child from further harm!

Still, Laura noticed that for the first time ever, Fenton hadn’t laid blame for the entire incident at Jeff and Carole’s feet.  Up until tonight, Fenton had always insisted they were completely responsible for Joe’s abduction.  Yet this evening he’d suddenly decided they had only played a part in it.

Standing, Laura walked to the sink and gazed out the window.  It was dark now but she’d swear she could see her two sons as small boys, laughing and playing on their swing set or climbing the tree house Fenton had built for them.  She had spent hours and hours looking out this window, watching them playing, laughing, crying, and growing up to become the young men she was so proud of today.

Her smile faded as the uneasiness swept over her again.  Her sons had as perfect a childhood as possible yet she never shared that one simple fact with her sister.  What if…. What if she had?  A phone call, a letter, even a simple postcard would have sufficed.  How many times had Carole tried to contact her over the years?  Fenton always told her when Carole called; she’d even called his office a few times, after Laura had forbidden her to ever call the house again.  Deep inside Laura knew Fenton harbored much more hatred for Jeff over what had happened.  Jeff admitted he’d been watching the kids when Joe was abducted, while Carole was cleaning up the picnic lunch they’d brought.  But even if Fenton hadn’t felt that way, he never would have stood in the way of Laura continuing a relationship with her sister if that’s what she chose to do.

‘But you didn’t,’ Laura thought sadly. While she still wasn’t convinced she was one hundred percent wrong in her actions, she was starting to have some doubts about the ferocity with which she pursued them.  

Turning off the lights, she walked to the keypad for the alarm system and made sure it was activated.  She smiled, fondly recalling Fenton’s final admonishment before ending their conversation – “Don’t forget to turn on the alarm before you go to bed.”  Frank had said something eerily similar when he called earlier that evening.  Climbing the stairs, she wondered… would the Cutters be as happy and close-knit as her own family if she’d accepted just one of her sisters’ phone calls?

*****

Joe’s eyes shot open and he inhaled sharply, automatically looking at the clock on the bedside table.

‘Two a.m.?’

He wondered what had awakened him so abruptly.  He held his breath for a few seconds, trying to calm himself to no avail.  His heart was racing, pounding in his chest.  He was trembling and shaking so hard he was afraid it might wake Vanessa.  What had he dreamt about?

Joe concentrated for a moment, trying to remember.  Something flashed in his mind, vague and elusive. Wisps of a dream began floating back to him.  Were they memories or just something his active imagination had created as he slept?  As he tried to grab onto the hazy bits and pieces, Joe was overwhelmed by emotions so raw, so intense he almost felt lightheaded. 

Quickly, Joe pushed the fuzzy images back into his subconscious, but it was too late.  Turning onto his side, Joe curled into a ball. He felt alone, afraid… forgotten.  The feelings were paralyzing; so absolute, so devastating it almost reduced him to tears.  The more he tried to push them away, the stronger they became.  Joe stared out into the darkness, afraid to close his eyes again. Going back to sleep might be an open invitation for whatever he dreamt about to return in force.  Awake, he felt as if he were being suffocated by the swirling emotions created by something he couldn’t even recall!

And somewhere deep in his subconscious, the hazy bits and pieces of memory began to regroup. Joe couldn’t ignore them forever. They would wait until the appropriate time to make themselves known, but it would be soon… very soon.

When Joe awoke five hours later, after falling back into a surprisingly peaceful sleep, the disturbing emotions were gone.  He’d shared a leisurely breakfast with Vanessa, before the two parted ways en route to work. After the conversation he’d had with Frank the previous evening, Joe was determined to see his mother this morning, wanting to satisfy himself that she was all right.

“Hey, Mom.” Joe strode into his parents’ kitchen, kissed his mother, who was seated at the table, and continued on to the counter, pouring himself a cup of coffee.  Returning to the table, Joe pulled out a chair next to Laura and sat down. 

“Everything okay?” he asked, taking a sip of coffee.  “You look tired.” 

Not only did she look tired, her eyes were slightly puffy and a little red.  She had cried at some point during the night. But when she looked at him, Joe knew he wouldn’t be getting a reason why.  Whatever it was that had brought Laura to tears, she wasn’t going to burden him with it.  Not that it was all that hard to figure out.  In his family’s efforts to ‘protect’ him, he hadn’t been privy to any details of exactly what was going on, but Joe knew this whole bizarre situation with the Cutters couldn’t be easy on his mother.  Especially now that he knew how close she and her sister had once been.

“I’m fine,” Laura lied, just as Joe knew she would.  She gave him a forced smile.  “How’s Vanessa?”

‘Okay, she’s not going to tell me.  Maybe I can at least take her mind off it for a few minutes.’  “She’s perfect,” Joe smiled, his eyes lighting up at the thought of his fiancée.  

“And how about you?  I missed our little chat yesterday morning,”  Laura said, taking a sip of her coffee.  Unless one of them was out of town, she and Joe spent a few minutes each morning talking over coffee.  It was a ritual they’d started when Joe officially began working with Fenton and Frank, and was one they both looked forward to.

“Me too,” Joe agreed and then frowned, looking at his mother intently.  “And, to be honest, I’m not doing so hot.”

“What’s wrong, honey?” Laura leaned forward, concerned.

Joe sighed heavily and replied with one word. “Blue.”

“Blue?” Laura repeated, bewildered.

“Yeah, blue. Here I’ve lived my whole life thinking blue was just, you know, blue!  Now I find out blue really isn’t blue.  Blue can be blue, but in the great wedding planning universe, it can be a lot of other things besides blue!!  It can be navy, or azure, or cobalt, or sapphire, or indigo or cerulean.  CERULEAN!  What the heck is cerulean?!  I’ve never even heard of cerulean!  Exactly what shade of blue is cerulean??  Ya can’t even pronounce it let alone spell it! I’m not sure I want something that I can’t spell to be a part of my wedding!” 

By the time Joe concluded his tirade on the color blue a minute or so later, Laura was laughing hysterically.  Joe sipped his coffee and smiled to himself.

‘Mission accomplished!’

*****

Frank heard Joe’s voice floating down the hall to Sam’s office, where he and Sam were waiting for the younger Hardy.  He was apparently regaling Mrs. Gresham with an update on the wedding plans.  As the older woman’s laughter echoed down the hall, Joe’s voice trailed off and seconds later he appeared in the doorway, smiling at Sam. 

“Hey.  Mrs. G said you wanted to-” Joe stopped mid-sentence.  He looked at Frank, the color draining from his face.

“Joe?  You okay?” Frank asked, bewildered.  Joe didn’t respond verbally, but the look in his eyes said something else entirely.

“Joe?”  Still getting no reply, Frank exchanged a confused look with Sam.  Joe was staring at him unnervingly.  Worried, Frank reached out to touch Joe’s arm. Joe flinched and pulled back, trying to put some distance between himself and Frank.  It was a few seconds before Joe seemed to realize what he’d done.  Backing away from Frank, he quickly sat down and turned towards Sam.

“What’s on the agenda for today?”  Joe asked, clearly avoiding any eye contact with Frank.

Sam appeared puzzled but tried to ignore Joe’s strange behavior.

“Well, as Mrs. G so astutely reminded me this morning, it’s the end of the month.  She needs this stuff done today,” he pointed contemptuously at a stack of manila folders on his desk, “so she can complete the month end reports for your Dad.

“There’s also what promises to be a pretty boring surveillance job for the workers comp case.  He’s been pretty slick so far; no one has seen him doing anything he shouldn’t be.  If he does anything even remotely requiring physical exertion we need to get it on video.  It’s the only way the company can disprove his claim.”  Sam grinned as he looked at Joe.  “Since I know how much you love being stuck behind a desk doing paperwork all day, you and Frank can do the surveillance.”

Joe’s eyes widened for a split second.  “I’ll stay here and do the paperwork!” he announced anxiously.

“Joe, it’s okay.  I was only teasing.  I don’t mind, really,” Sam replied a little more seriously, throwing a confused look at Frank.

“I said I’ll do the paperwork!” Joe responded, almost pleading.  “I want to stay here! I... I want to keep an eye on Mom.” Standing, Joe grabbed the files off Sam’s desk.  “You guys take the surveillance job,” Joe called over his shoulder as he ran out of the office.

Frank and Sam look at each other, shocked.  Joe never even acknowledged Frank!  It took a moment for Frank to recover from Joe’s bizarre behavior. He looked at Sam, genuinely confused.  “What the heck was that all about?”