As he read the note, he felt first warm, then cold, and then the worst feeling of all came; that constant numbness which had become his companion since the summer. He wanted desperately to be able to feel something again—even anger, rage, sadness—they would all be better than this emptiness.

Placing his dinner back in the fridge, he walked over to the end table where his answering machine sat. He saw the number "4" flashing. That’s weird, he thought silently. Callie normally checks it before she goes to class—she couldn’t have been gone for more than an hour or two. Still, he pressed the button, already knowing what would be on it. The question wasn’t who, but how many times he called.

Frank pressed the button.

Message 1: "Frank? Hey Frank? It’s me—your brother. You have one, remember? I guess we keep playing phone tag, but give me a call when you get in. Just wanted to say hi. Later.

Frank sighed. He thought he’d avoided that call with a strategic phone call to Joe’s dorm room when he knew Joe had class. Joe.

Message 2, fifteen minutes later: "Frank? Sorry to call again- but you know me- I’m a pain, right? Anyway, just wanted to wish you a happy day before your birthday! You’re getting to be an old man, bro! Call me later.

His birthday. He had forgotten about it, truthfully. Leave it to Joe to leave him a message the day before his actual birthday. Smiling sadly, Frank knew it was because, as a tradition, Joe always had called or woken him up at midnight when they were kids so he could be the first one to wish his year older brother a great day. He’d always be so silly, saying how Frank was now TWO years older than he was, even though Joe’s own birthday was just two months away.

Message 3: "Cal? It’s Vanessa. What’s up, girl? I was just calling to see how you were. Call me, okay? Love ya. Hi, Frank."

Frank looked at the machine. Vanessa Bender, Joe’s girlfriend and Callie’s best friend, seemed more serious than usual on the machine. Lately, all of her messages had been that way. Strangely, he realized that he barely spoke to her lately. Then again, he added to himself, Who have I spoken with?

Message 4: "Um, Frank? It’s Joe. I PROMISE this will be the last time I call you—well, unless you don’t call me back!!! I just realized I had forgotten to say hi to Callie, and I didn’t want to be rude. WHAT’S UP, SIS?! Call me!"

At the last message, Frank swallowed, hard. Joe and Callie, Joe wanting to speak to Callie, Callie chatting on the phone with Joe… he tried to push the constant thoughts and lingering doubts to the back of his mind. He couldn’t.

Frank sat down on the sofa and rubbed his eyes, wondering for the millionth time how and why everything had gone wrong. Just over three months ago, he had proposed to his long-time girlfriend, the love of his life. She had accepted. Never had he been happier or felt so much joy. And Joe had been there, laughing and joking and being the best brother and friend he had ever known. Vanessa had been there, too, sharing in the celebration, becoming ever more a part of Joe’s life. Frank had teased his blonde, blue-eyed brother that Vanessa was slowly becoming his wife. Joe had laughed and brushed it off, but Frank knew he had been serious. Life hadn’t looked any brighter.

And then… as quickly as all the happiness had come, it was torn away from him, violently, mercilessly. When Callie had inadvertently submitted an article and some photos that got picked up by a national newspaper, she had stumbled across a crime ring that involved drugs, pornography, and murder. Frank felt the color rise to his face just thinking about it. In the process, Joe, protecting Callie, had gotten horribly hurt after being dragged around by a truck. He had almost lost his life. To this day, he wasn’t fully recovered, although he tried to pretend that he was. And Callie…the men, Nash and Jenkins, had toyed with her emotions, making her feel responsible. She had been roughed up, too, almost raped. The thought, as always, was enough to take Frank’s breath away. And then… the choice, the horrendous, God-awful moment when he had been forced to choose whose life to spare, Joe’s or Callie’s, a choice no person should ever have to make. In order to save his brother’s life, he had chosen Joe. Nothing had been the same since.

Blinking back tears, Frank knew that all of these horrors weren’t the worst of it all. Not only was Nash still at large, but what he had made Joe do… Callie do… was unconscionable. Although neither one had confessed to anything, more and more evidence pointed to the fact that they had slept together…maybe, they were in love. He choked back a cry that almost escaped his lips as he thought of it. There had been a shared kiss, he knew that much. Joe and Callie were together, a lot, talking- who knew what else? He knew they had woken up together, not fully clothed. And then the video—the proof—the vile, awful evidence that his brother and Callie, for whatever reason, had ended up together.

And now…now Callie was pregnant, on top of everything else. He didn’t even know if the child was his. When she had told him, he had been shocked, but he had asked her not to say anything to anyone else—at least until Christmas. He had been hoping that five months would give him clarity, time to think, to make sense of everything. But it hadn’t. And Callie was handling the most precarious part of her pregnancy, the first trimester, on her own, with no one’s support. Not even mine, he thought, fighting the lump in his throat.

And so, he found himself more torn than ever. He couldn’t be mean to his brother or to Callie. In spite of everything, he loved them both dearly. But he wasn’t warm, either. In fact, for the first time in his life, he was running from a problem, acting distant, avoiding phone calls, never coming home on time, and not returning e-mails. He knew he must have been driving Callie and Joe crazy. Part of him wanted to shout, to scream, to confront them, and to ask why. He knew in his heart he couldn’t marry Callie with these doubts, nor could he go on maintaining this pretense of a relationship with his brother, who had for so long been his best friend.

There were times he could forget. Well, not forget, exactly. Ignore was more like it. And those few days, here and there, gave him his life back, allowed him to go on, to live. Those were the wonderful days when he would hang out with Joe and just laugh and joke and be so grateful that Joe was okay. Those days, he allowed Joe’s warmth and radiance to shine through, to re-energize him. And, in those times, he could hold tightly to the woman he loved, whom he needed, and tell her and show her just how dear she was to him. He never knew what type of day it would be. He wanted to believe them. When he looked at Joe’s smiling face, or Callie’s soft, caring brown eyes, he could never see the faintest traces of disloyalty. All he saw was love. He needed to believe them—part of him could never doubt the two people whom he loved most.

But… he did. He doubted them. The evidence was getting overwhelming… the secrets, and the lies. He wanted to hate them for what they did to him, but he couldn’t. He hated himself for doubting them. Yet, he couldn’t escape it.

He heard the door open, and Callie Shaw entered. Seeing him, she smiled. Frank found himself smiling back. Although she looked a little tired, she was still so beautiful. She was petite, and in great shape, and only the best eye could detect the smallest bulge in her lower stomach indicating she was pregnant.

As Frank watched her struggle to place her textbooks down and to carry her backpack, he knew that this was going to be one of the better days. He was grateful. They were so few and far between.

Getting up, he took her books from her and helped her off with her coat, kissing the top of her head.

Callie glanced up at him, dubiously. Frank had been acting so bizarre lately. She hadn’t wanted to focus on it, having more than enough stress in her life already. Some days he seemed to ignore her, or to push her away. Other days her was more than affectionate. Something was going on with him, and she knew eventually she’d figure out what it was. This was so unusual, though, because she had always been able to talk to Frank, openly and honestly. She wanted back the man she’d been with for so many years. She needed him, now more than ever. She was tired, and seemed one of the "lucky" women to suffer from morning sickness. That, on top of all the stress from last summer, her own guilt over Joe’s injuries, an upcoming wedding, school, and paying bills, was not adding to her doctor’s orders to stay well-rested and relaxed. To this day, she didn’t understand why Frank didn’t want to tell anyone about her pregnancy. Although unexpected, to say the least, she was pretty excited about it, and really wanted to share it with her mom. Well, she had shared it with one person—but Frank didn’t need to know that.

Right now, though, she was glad that Frank seemed more normal. "Hi," she said to him with a smile. "How was your day?"

"It was okay," he answered, honestly.

"That’s good," Callie replied. "I have this ridiculous paper to write on the Constitutionality of free speech." She looked up at him. "If you have any free time, feel free to write it for me!"

Frank smiled at her. "As intriguing as that sounds, I think I’ll pass. But if you need help…no problem."

"Thanks," Callie said, uncertainly. She was very aware of Frank’s presence near her, and she wanted to give into it. She was just afraid he’d pull away again, leaving her more empty than before. "Um, did you get dinner?"

"Yeah, thanks," Frank replied, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Callie closed her eyes. His touch was so rare these days. She didn’t want him to leave.

"That was sweet of you. I didn’t eat it, though, yet."

"Oh," she replied, opening her eyes at last. "I can make you something else."

"Nah," Frank said gently.

"Did anyone call?" Callie continued.

"Oh. Yeah, Vanessa." Frank decided to leave off Joe. He couldn’t think of THAT now. He looked into Callie’s eyes, and realized how much he wanted to connect with her at that moment, to allow her to make him believe that everything was okay. Slowly and wordlessly, he guided her to the sofa. Once there, he lay back and pulled Callie gently into his arms, stroking her hair softly.

Callie felt overcome with emotion. God, how she missed this. She didn’t know what had brought it on, but now, maybe, Frank would finally open up to her. She decided to let him talk, cuddling close to him, and resting her head on his chest to feel his heart beating.

"How’re you feeling?" he asked quietly, holding her.

"Better, now." It was the truth.

"You’ve been a little sick, huh?" he added.

"Oh, I’ll be all right," she whispered back, trying not to cry.

Looking down at her, Frank hugged her tighter. In that moment, he held back his own tears. He loved her so much. He decided to allow himself one night, maybe two, to believe her and Joe. He’d been wrong--- they wouldn’t betray him. At least for tonight.

He reached down and gently placed his hand on top of her stomach. "How’s Frankie junior?"

Callie laughed softly against him. "Callie junior is just fine."

"It’s a boy," Frank said lightly, teasing her.

"It’s a girl- trust me," Callie teased back, elated. Callie placed her hand on top of his and he took it.

"I love you, Frank," she whispered, clinging to him.

But Frank didn’t answer her back, as he hadn’t since Cape May. And so, it continued. Yet again, her daily affirmation that she loved him went unanswered, and once again, she felt her heart break as she held back tears.

She looked up at him, her eyes pleading with his to scream, "Why don’t you love me anymore?"

He gazed into her eyes, answering her silently with, "Why did you betray me?"