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PLAYING GAMES
by Zan Chapter 7
Deep and Meaningful
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The Chapters |
His eyes still on the sleeping man, Frank’s mind was a hive of activity. He pondered possible avenues of escape, tried to make educated guesses about what Joe was up to, and thought back on the events of the day. His head felt much better. His thoughts were sharp and his vision clear. He had encouraged Vanessa to lie down and rest. He assumed she was asleep, her head heavy on his knees. He was surprised when her hushed voice broke the silence in the cabin. ‘How do you do it, Frank?’ whispered Vanessa. ‘Do what?’ he returned. ‘Keep your head. Stay sane. Cope. You’ve been held captive before on your own. What keeps you from losing it completely?’ Frank considered her question carefully. ‘I guess it’s about doing what you’re doing now, Vanessa. Instead of sitting here imagining all sorts of horrible outcomes, you’re asking me interesting questions. Engaging your brain rather than your emotions or giving in to wild imaginings.’ ‘But we’re together, Frank,’ said Vanessa. ‘What do you do when it’s just you?’ ‘Same thing really,’ he replied. ‘If it’s a case of just waiting for the next move, I try to reflect on things. Not always big things like the meaning of life, the universe and everything. I might re-think an argument I’ve had with someone and try to see it from a different perspective. When we’re on a case, I try to think it through from scratch.’ Vanessa looked pensive. ‘What about Joe?’ asked Vanessa, looking up at him. ‘Yes, well my mind does often turn to him,’ said Frank. ‘’No, what I meant was, what does Joe do in the same situation? I can’t imagine him sitting still and contemplating. Wouldn’t he just self-destruct?’ Frank recalled the times Joe had been rescued or released after being held against his will. ‘Joe tries the same approach,’ Frank told her, ‘but I think that being left with his own thoughts becomes very unsettling for him. He’s forced to face his own demons. In some ways I think he’d prefer to have someone torment him physically than be alone inflicting emotional torture on himself.’ Frank looked down at Vanessa and smiled sadly. ‘Do you know, after being missing for three days, Joe kept telling mum how sorry he was. He felt guilty about how upset and worried she must have been. As if it had been his fault he’d been taken away from her.’ ‘How do you help him when something like that has happened?’ asked Vanessa. Frank shrugged. ‘I suppose I just try to stay close by,’ he replied. ‘He seems calmer for it, and I guess it really helps me too,’ he added. ‘It’s something that Callie doesn’t always understand.’ Frank’s voice had grown softer. These were feelings he had confided in no-one; certainly not his brother. In fact he couldn’t recall ever being able to speak so openly to anyone besides Joe about his innermost feelings. ‘I’m sorry, Callie. I know we had a movie planned for tonight, but I really need to stay at home.’ ‘Are your folks going out?’ ‘No. Dad, just went out for about an hour. Mum and Aunt Gertrude are here.’ ‘So why do you have to stay home? Joe hasn’t taken a turn for the worse has he?’ ‘No, he’s okay. He’s still a little tired.’ ‘Well, if he goes to bed early, we can go out after that.’ ‘I just really want to stay home, Callie. Joe’s only been back from hospital two days. We can go out tomorrow. You could always come over here tonight if you want.’ ‘No, that’s okay. If Joe’s insisting that you stay home, you’d better give him your whole and undivided attention.’ ‘Callie, Joe hasn’t asked me to stay home. I want to be home with him. I’ll just be too preoccupied if I go out tonight. That wouldn’t be fair on you.’ ‘No it wouldn’t. But I can’t say I’m not getting used to it. And you don’t have to pretend that Joe didn’t ask you to stay home. I understand how much he relies on you.’ ‘Callie, you’re not being fair.’ ‘Alright. Sorry. Look, I’ll see you tomorrow okay. Tell Joe I said I hope he’s feeling better. Bye.’ ‘I’m sure Callie does understand,’ said Vanessa, interrupting his thoughts. ‘She really does love you, and being close to Joe is a large part of who you are as a person. She wouldn’t want you to change.’ ‘Maybe not, but sometimes I think she wants me to choose between her and Joe,’ said Frank miserably. ‘I really do love her, but I don’t want to ever have to make that choice.’ Vanessa reached for Frank’s hand, which wasn’t a difficult task given the handcuffs! ‘Believe me, Frank,’ she assured him, ‘Neither Joe nor Callie will ever make you choose. They both love you too much to do that to you.’ Frank felt Vanessa squeeze his hand and felt assured by the absolute conviction in her soft voice. It was crystal clear to him now why his brother was so mesmerized by Vanessa. She had the beauty and grace of a model, but she was also brave, bold, compassionate and straight-talking. She was a wonderful source of strength. ‘When we get out of this mess,’ Frank told her, ‘Callie will be bound to be happier because I doubt whether Joe will need my shoulder quite so much now he’s met you. And I mean that as a compliment.’ ‘He’ll always need you, Frank,’ said Vanessa, smiling. ‘And I wouldn’t have either of you any other way.’
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